Harry Potter & the story that made no sense
by Claire Violet Thorpe
Summary: There never was a Harry Potter instead, there is Tyler Potter & he must live Harry's life story. We are all doomed. First in the Tyler Potter Series. See more info in chapter 1. COMPLETED!
1. Title Credits

Title: Harry Potter and the story that made no sense

Author: Jacquel Carey

Date Started: September 7, 2006

Summary: There never was a Harry Potter; instead there is Tyler Potter, and he must live Harry's story. We are all doomed.

Setting: Hogwarts England 1998; Leeds 1981-1991; Pinecastle Academy 1991

Genre: humor/parody; comedy; general

Rating: PG-13 for silliness, scary moments, and mild language

Warning/Spoilers: Don't bother reading this if you haven't read the first book. Also, this book isn't for those who have no sense of humor.

Disclaimer: I wrote this for fun, not for profit. Joanne owns the plot. Enough said.

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Author's note: When I was busy reading Harry Potter fanfiction, I sometimes wondered to myself _what if there never was a Harry Potter_? Sure it's already been done before, but don't you think that if there never was a Harry Potter, if someone else was the Boy-Who-Lived, then who would it be? When Harry makes a wish to never be Harry Potter, he unknowingly messes up the world. There is now Tyler Potter, and he must do what Harry had done. So sit back and relax, and read the story that made no sense!

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The Story: _In a magical world reeling after the defeat of Lord Voldemort, Harry wishes that he wasn't Harry Potter anymore. Here's what happens when Harry gets his wish_…

__

_The year is 1981. The wicked sorcerer Adolovsky kills James and Shannon Potter. Their son, Tyler James Potter, is the Boy-Who-Lived. Harry Potter is now Hayley Snape, for his mother Lily marries Snape and not James. 10 years later, Tyler Potter runs away from his cruel foster family and meets a gnome. The gnome tells everyone that the Boy-Who-Lived has returned to the wizarding world. Tyler also meets Hagrid and gains his inheritance. Hagrid also reveals that Tyler is a mage and he is to attend Pinecastle Academy of Magic._

_Hayley meets Tyler when they go to Pinecastle. Hayley goes into Phoenixhorn along with Tyler. Tyler befriends Marty McGuire and Coco Riddle. Julia also attends Pinecastle under the name Galadriel Black, or Gala. She is placed in Dragonsting. Malcolm Dratzins goes into Unicornfeather, and he shuns Tyler because he is famous._

_Most of the story centers on the Green Trio (Tyler, Marty, and Coco) as they begin their new lives at Pinecastle. Tyler is sure that he is repeating parts of Harry's story, from befriending Alistair Johnston, dodging Malcolm, and meeting a mysterious princess named Sophia Mueller. A mystery is on the horizon: the mage who killed Tyler's parents seeks a powerful grail that can make the drinker immortal. The grail is hidden inside the school and only Hayley knows where it is. But a strange person is preventing the kids from getting to the grail. No one believes them and Dumbledore is being secretive. Tyler determines that he must find and destroy the grail before the evil sorcerer gets to it._

_One night, Tyler, Marty, Coco, Hayley, and Sophia go into the Tomb of the Lost Wizards seeking the grail. There, Tyler encounters Adolovsky, who tried to kill him when he was a baby. He gains the grail but is nearly killed before he is rescued. In the hospital, Dumbledore tells Tyler that he must assume the role of the Boy-Who-Lived, since Harry had relinquished the role many years ago. Tyler dreads having to return to his hated foster family and wishes that he could go home with Hayley. And so this story begins…_


	2. The Fight to end the Wizarding War

author's note: This story contains spoilers for the final book! Please read with extreme caution!

**Voice**: _Long ago, there was a great and terrible war in the wizarding world…in one corner, we have the evil Lord Voldemort, who wants to do nothing more than take over the world and terrorize innocent wizards and muggles…And in the other corner, we have the brave and heroic Harry Potter, whose destiny is to defeat the Dark Lord and restore peace to the wizarding world…_

**Voice 2 **(_Marty_): How come we're not in this story? Eh?

**Narrator**: Shut up, Marty, I'm trying to talk here. (_continues the story_) _But the battle would be very bloody, and many people would die just to stop him…_

**Marty**: Were any of them Americans? Hmm?

**Narrator**: No!!! Moving along…_In the dark world of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Lord Voldemort and his evil helpers Bellatrix Lestrange and Lucius Malfoy forged a book, and into it, they poured their evil, their hatred of muggles, and their will to dominate the wizarding world…_**One Book to Rule Them All**_…And one by one, their enemies, both wizards and muggles, fell to the power of the Dark Side…But there were some…who resisted. There, a group of muggles and wizards and the occasional retardo— _

**Marty**: And Americans?

**Narrator**: No! So…_And in the streets of Glasgow, Scotland, they fought for the freedom of the Wizarding World…_

**Stacey Morgan**: at the head of troops Are we ready? One…Two…(_many evil wizards are zapped and killed by women, children, and teenagers_)…Three…GO!!! A line of wizards led by Beterli Samson cuts down the first line of Death Eaters, slicing patches bearing the Turner Family Logo which is a spider systematically

**Jacquel Carey**: That's right, punks! Y'all cain't be supporting our enemies! Y'all cain't be working for the Dark Lord! We wizards don't have to put up with Joanna's—

**Marty**: What? Did she just say J. K. Rowling? That's the lady who writes the **Harry Potter** books!

**Narrator**: No, silly; Muty. Now hush!

**Jacquel**: (_continues_) —crappy excuses for an apology! We can just kill every member of the Turner family! They support the Dark Lord and betrayed the Romanovs! Let's sing it 'til the unicorns come home! (_everyone sings about the wicked deeds of the Turner family)_

**Narrator**: _But the power of the Dark Side…could not be undone._ (Lord Voldemort _appears—7th HP book and wand in hand_ )

**Voldemort**: (_waves book around like the idiot that he is_) Muhahahahahahahhahaha! Book says…DIE!!! (_Various people read the book which reveals their deaths; scream, fall to the ground and die immediately_)

**Narrator**: _But when all hope seemed lost…(Sean Michael Black is slammed against the wall and killed; Harry Potter comes to his side_—_then Voldemort appears_) _Harry Potter, the last hope of the wizarding world, took up his father's wand…_

**Voldemort**: (_waving book_) DIE!!! NOW!!!

**Harry**: Um…No way. Oh, and guess what? Neville just killed your captain. (_Scene shows Neville _Longbottom _standing over the body of Bellatrix Lestrange)_

**Voldemort**: Damn, I knew that clumsy kid would go and do something like that! Oh well. NOW DIE!!!

**Harry**: Uh, did you even _read_ the book?

**Voldemort**: Yes, and I'm the big baddie—NOW DIE!!! DIE!!!

**Harry**: Um…No. See…(_waves the wand maniacally)_

**Voldemort**: Hey watch it now! You'll zap someone! (_Harry falls over; his glasses are scratched up)_

**Harry**: No! My glasses!

**Voldemort**: Stupid little prat! Now watch it, this is a battle that _I _intend to win!

**Harry**: Huh? Whatever. I'll keep that in mind, you pathetic excuse for Darth Vader. (_waves wand again; zaps Voldemort)_

**Voldemort**: OWOWOWOWOW! I told you that I want to win this battle!

**Harry**: (_still waving wand_) What _now_?!

**Voldemort**: I want to beat you and take over the wizarding world! Can't you take a hint?

**Harry**: Somehow, I'm here to make sure that you don't do that.

**Voldemort**: You stupid boy, I want to win! Now it's on…(_looks in a mirror_) Whoa, my face is hideous, I knew I should've gone easy on the makeup…and now my head is bald—(_unfortunately, everyone sees his bald head_)

**Everyone**: Bald! Oh my God, he's bald! Aaaaaaaahhhhh, he's bald! Bald! Bald! Bald! Ewwwwwww, he's bald! Bald! Bald! Bald! Uuuuuuugggggggggghhhhhhhhhh, he's bald! Bald! Bald! Bald! My eyes!

**Voldemort**: Huh? Oh, what's this? So everyone's afraid of me just because I'm bald? (_everyone nods in horror_) Ok, then, you leave me no choice…Fear my bald head! _laughs menacingly as everyone (except for Harry) runs from him, screaming their heads off_

**Harry**: You are such a jerk!

**Voldemort**: Oh, whatever. (_laughs evilly_) So we meet again, Potter! And this time, we decide once and for all who's the winner! And for _your_ sake, it had better be me!

**Harry**: Are you threatening me?

**Voldemort**: Quite possibly. And besides, this planet isn't big enough for the two of us!

**Harry**: Now I know that you've been watching way too many Clint Eastwood movies!

**Voldemort**: And your point is…?

**Harry**: I'm gonna kick your butt.

**Voldemort**: Oh, that'll be the day when unicorns fly!

**Harry**: Like _that_ will ever happen. Anyway, you are going to lose and I am going to win. And that's the way it goes.

**Voldemort**: And how the hell do you know about this?

**Harry**: Duh, I've read the book.

**Voldemort**: Oh. Ok. This is gonna cost me.

**Harry**: Of course it's gonna cost you. You're gonna pay for all those people you killed.

**Voldemort**: I assure you that you will regret saying that.

**Seamus LeSouse-Rowes**: (_coming over to them_) Harry, where is Sean? Where is my son? Please don't tell me that he's dead. I've already lost Shannon and Jacobine and you don't know what it's like to lose a child!

**Harry**: I'm sorry, sir, but Sean's dead. He was killed by the Dark Lord.

**Seamus**: What? Sean's dead? I don't believe this! This is too much for me to bear! (_breaks down and starts crying_) First Jacobine, then Shannon, and now, Sean! All my children are dead! The LeSouse-Rowes line has ended! (_cries_ _bitterly_)

**Harry**: (_to Voldemort_) Family's always embarrassing, ain't it? (_Voldemort nods in agreement_) And…uhhhh…no offense, Seamus, but I've heard that you have been abusive towards your children and that's why they hate you. Oh, and according to the book, you die now.

**Seamus**: (_gasps_) What? But that's not fair! (_dies_)

**Harry**: You, too, Voldemort.

**Voldemort**: Hey! Just as we was getting all chummy and stuff…that's not cool! (_Michael Romanov cuts in by yelling, "Excuse me! Excuse me!" Harry and Voldemort turn and look at him_.)

**Michael Romanov**: Excuse me, do I get to see the end of the book, too?

**Harry**: No. The book also says that you die.

**Michael**: (_frowning_) Awww, that ain't right! (_dies_)

**Harry**: Ha! Now I can finally defeat you, Voldemort! (_hesitates_) But wait…what if he had allies? (_thinks again_) Oh, well, I'll deal with them later. (waves_ his wand and zaps Voldemort_) AVADA KEDAVRA! (_Voldemort dies and then explodes in an explosive explosion of explosive SFX explosives. Everyone cheers for this ultimate victory_)

**Gabriel**: Harry Potter has defeated Lord Voldemort! And this time, Voldie's gone forever!

**Everyone**: Hooray!

**Narrator**: _And with the defeat of Lord Voldemort, Harry decided to destroy all evil…_

**Harry**: (_points to contract_) Just sign on the dotted line!

**Brent Limpett**: (_holding pen_) OK! (_signs the paper_)

**Narrator**: _And so he sealed the fates of the entire Turner family_…(Cut to: _Turners riding with Jadis Kastianopolis, book in their evil hands. Suddenly, retardoes armed with knives spring up and attack them_)

**Brent**: Look, family! It's an ambush! We must fight for our lives!

**Jadis**: Nah. I'm just gonna leave you as payment for ruining my life…(_she leaves. Members of the Turner family are slain_)

**Brent**: Damn it! Curse ye, J. K. Rowling, thy hero hast tricked me…book of deeeea—(_attacked by retardoes, dies. Book is taken away and destroyed_)

**Narrator**: _And slowly…the book faded to story, story into legend, legend into myth, myth into fairy tale, and some things in this world that should not have been forgotten were lost forever. And as for the retardoes, they weren't rewarded for their brave deeds…in fact, they were all slain as well…(Retardoes scream as they die)…Apparently the normal people wanted retributions for estranging their families, which is what most of them have done…Yet then something happened that the book did not foresee…(most likely an unfortunate mistake)…It was found by an American…_

**Marty**: YES! YES! FINALLY, AN AMERICAN!!!

**Odin Shinnok**: Hello? What's this?

**Narrator**: _Odin Shinnok, last living (normal) member of a family of retardoes, all who were slain during the years following the downfall of the Dark Lord…_

**Odin**: A wand! And a book, too! Hmm…It says, "Wail: Preeeecious!"

**Gollum Wail**: _Preeeecious_!

**Odin**: Right-ho! I suppose I'll take this…(_Cut to: Monterey, California, 18 years earlier_)


	3. The Wish that destroyed the world

**Author's note**: _Here's when Harry makes the wish that destroyed the wizarding world forever... _

PROLOGUE

The title credits begin rolling, underlined with mock-Elvish subtitles: "_Whai not trai a hólídë ait Hógwarts thisse yír? Sí the lovelí fórests, the wonderfúl Quídditch gamës, and maní ínterestíng líttle unícorns_…" Suddenly the music grinds to a halt and a new title card appears: "_We apologise for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible for these faults have been fired by Donald Trump, and the credits have been completed in an entirely different style at great expense at the last minute_." The credits continue, this time with Harry making the one wish that would destroy the universe forever…

cut to: _after the war has ended. Harry Potter is standing over the body of his vanquished foe and looking around him. Many people lie dead on both sides. Suddenly, Ginny Weasley comes rushing over to him_.

**Ginny**: Oh, Harry, I thought you were dead!

**Harry**: Actually, I'm quite alive, except for him, for he is dead. (_here, Hermione Granger comes rushing towards him_)

**Hermione**: I can't believe you did it, Harry, but you did. You defeated Lord Voldemort. (_Ron Weasley shows up_.)

**Ron**: It's over, mate. Now you can live your life in peace.

**Harry**: Now I can finally live my life in peace. (_they_ _all look over the battlefield. Many people are dead, many more are wounded_.) I can't believe that it had to take so much death to unite us all…(_Draco Malfoy shows up_.)

**Malfoy**: Well, I can't say that I like the idea of you defeating the Dark Lord, but at least we'll have peace in the wizarding world. But then again, a whole lot of people died just to save us all. (cut to: _Jacquel Romanov standing with her back to the battle and her face to the future_.)

**Jacquel**: We are all a lost generation.

**Magnus Kroger**: What do you mean?

**Jacquel**: We are the generation that has lost their parents and have lost their innocence. And now the Lost Generation is coming of age in a world that has very little tolerance for those who have little or no family at all and the world doesn't want us to take our place in it. But the world is dying and many of its young people are refusing to take their place in line, so we must take up our place in it.

**Magnus**: But then again, we cannot really live in the muggle world.

**Jacquel**: No, we can't. Our place is here. We belong in the wizarding world. Here, we can raise our children and live in safety. But we can't do that in the muggle world. (_she reaches out and takes his hand_) Somehow, our lives will never be the same…(cut to: _Harry looking upon his friends and allies. but then he sees the dead. among them are the faces of people he knows_)

**Aslan Griswold** (_name change pending_): Well, I never thought I'd see the day that an evil has been destroyed and then replaced by emptiness and disillusion. (_to Stacey Morgan_) At least I won't be facing a bleak future alone…

**Stacey**: Jacquel has declared us a "_Lost Generation_." Why?

**Harry**: Because we have no parents and must now come of age in a world that's fill with uncertainties…(_a_ _group of people surround the dead; among them are Beterli and Balin Samson, Gabriel Snape, Jaden Kastianopolis, and Julia Black. Suddenly, Nicholas Crenshaw comes to them with a list of the names of the dead people_.) Well, we all knew that Scrimgeour was going to die, and that Slughorn was going to die as well…(_looks down the list and recalls the names of the dead_.) Oh my God, you mean to tell me that Marya Griswold is dead, too? Oh why did she have to die? What happened to her?

**Malfoy**: Well, she was right next to me just as the demon came forward, and then we were separated…and then cousin Ernest came along and killed him...

**Harry**: But before that, the demon kills Marya? (_Malfoy nods_) Oh why did I let her in? She should not have come! (_tears come to his eyes as he looks at the dead girl_.) I have let way too many good people die!

**Jacquel**: Oh, that's not true, Harry. They have given their lives to secure our future.

**Harry**: But I let an innocent girl die!

**Malfoy**: Many other innocent children have die to protect us, like that Jaspotelli girl and her brother, and that Leslie girl...but (_Harry isn't listening. He refuses to believe that he allowed a group of children to die just so he could defeat the Dark Lordand save the world_.)

**Harry**: You want to know what I think? (_everyone looks at him_) I think that I'm tired of everyone dying in my name, just so I can live!

**Ginny**: Harry, no! Don't say that! That's not true!

**Harry**: I wish that I didn't have to fight the Dark Lord. In fact, I should have killed him years before!

**Malfoy**: But you didn't know anything about the horucruxes then.

**Harry**: I wish I had defeated him earlier, instead of letting everyone push me around and trying to protect me!

**Stacey**: But Harry, we didn't have much of a choice. They ordered us to protect you…

**Harry**: …and five of their leaders are dead because of me! I allowed them to die! I must be the most selfish person on the face of the earth!

**Aslan**: Now, Harry, I don't think that they would be agreeing with you…

**Harry**: I don't care anymore! I'm going to make it so that this never happened…

**Jacquel**: No, Harry, no! Don't do it!

**Harry**: Oh, why not?

**Jacquel**: Because if you do, then you'll destroy the natural order of things!

**Harry**: I really don't care! (cut to: _dark clouds forming in the sky_) I WISH THAT I WAS NEVER HARRY POTTER! (_just then, a thunderstorm ensures. The voice of God booms overhead_)

**God**: HARRY POTTER, HOW COULD YOU BE SO CRUEL???

**Harry**: But God, I'm tired of having everyone die in my name…

**God**: SILENCE! HARRY POTTER, YOU HAVE FAILED TO SEE THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THEIR SACRIFICES THAT THEY HAVE MADE. WAS IT SELFISH OF THEM TO GIVE THEMSELVES UP TO CREATE A BETTER WORLD, OR WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE THEM LIVE SAFE, BORING LIVES? HARRY, THESE PEOPLE ONLY WANTED YOU TO LIVE A BETTER LIFE AND IF THEY HAD TO DIE TO KEEP YOU ALIVE, THEN THEY DIED. (_pulls out a huge book_) HARRY POTTER, AS PUNISHMENT FOR YOUR STUPIDITY and FAILURE TO RECOGNIZE WHAT OTHERS HAVE DONE FOR YOU, YOU WILL SPEND THE NEXT 17 YEARS SEEING YOUR LIFE THROUGH THE EYES OF ANOTHER. AND WHEN YOU HAVE COME BACK TO THIS POINT, THEN MAYBE I CAN FIX THIS LITTLE PROBLEM.

**Jacquel**: And what's in it for us? What do we do?

**God**: WELL, HARRY MUST FIGURE THIS OUT FOR HIMSELF, BUT I THINK YOU KIDS NEED TO STAND IN THIS VORTEX UNTIL 17 YEARS HAVE PASSED...

**Stacey**: What? 17 years??? But we'll be parents by then!

**God**: SILENCE! OR ELSE YOU WILL SUFFER AS HE WILL! (_everyone is silent_) AND AS FOR YOU, HARRY, I WILL BE SENDING YOU BACK TO THE BEGINNING, and YOU CAN LIVE YOUR LIFE AS YOU WISHED TO LIVE…

**Harry**: How did you know about my wish?

**God**: I see everything and I am everywhere.

**Harry**: So if you're here, then does that mean that you're also in France?

**God**: Oui, oui, mon ami.

**Harry**: And if you're in France, then does that mean that you're in México as well?

**God**: Sí, sí, mi amigo.

**Harry**: And if you're in México, then does that mean that you're also in Saudi Arabia?

**God**: Well, no. The Muslims don't like me. They'd rather worship a god called Allah and half of them don't like Americans or Christians.

**Harry**: What?????

**God**: Hahahahahahahahaha! Got you!

**Harry**: What?????

**God**: I was just punking you! You really have no sense of humor whatsoever!

**Harry**: (_feeling a bit put out_) O…K…

**God**: Now back to what I was saying…(_clears throat_) NOW, HARRY, YOU MUST OBSERVE YOUR LIFE THROUGH SOMEONE ELSE'S EYES. NOW I MUST WARN YOU: IF YOU FAIL, THEN YOU WILL BRING ABOUT THE EARLY END OF THE WORLD. THAT MEANS ARMAGEDDON WILL COME SOONER THAN PLANNED. BUT IF YOU MANAGE TO BEFRIEND THE PERSON and HELP THEM, THEN YOU WILL BE RESTORED TO YOUR TRUE FORM.

**Harry**: Just one more question: how will I know who the person is?

**God**: You'll know him by this sign…(_shows Harry a sign of a crescent moon_) AND NOW, TO SEND YOU ON YOUR WAY…but don't worry, children, I'll make sure that he's OK and I'll bring him back in one piece…AND HARRY, I WILL BE WATCHING YOU. NOW FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER IN YOUR LIFE…(_hand of God reaches out and pulls a lever. Harry falls through a trapdoor and goes down the time-space continuum. Eventually, he wakes up in a whole new world and must live a completely different life. Cut to: Monty Python's John Cleese wearing a wizarding robe and hat and sitting at a desk in a normal neighborhood_.)

**John Cleese**: And now for something completely different. (_Harry finds himself lying asleep in bed. Little does he know that when he wakes up, his life will be changed forever_...)

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Here begins_The Story that Doesn't Make any Sense_This is what happens when Harry wishes that he wasn't Harry Potter anymore. We have now created a new character in his place; his name is Tyler Potter. And with Joanne's permission, we have inserted him into Harry's world; meaning that he has to live out Harry's story. And the first story is_ The Sorcerer's Stone_. We are all doomed…


	4. The BoyWhoLived…Just So He Could Rip O

**The Boy-Who-Lived…Just So He Could Rip Off This Story**

Here's the thing: it was Halloween 1981, and that means such activities as trick-or-treating, mundane Halloween parties, and scary movies. But not the mages. They just didn't see the need to throw a party or give candy to "_those spoiled rotten mundane children_" in the first place. Mages do celebrate Halloween, but it was the national holiday of the wizarding world and not a time for passing out candy to children or indulging in satanic rituals.

That night, a group of mages had showed up in front of someone's house. That house was located in the little neighborhood of Westbrooke, which was located in the city of Leeds, England. Something had happened in the night.

"Well, Lily," said one, "I guess that this has finally happened."

"Like what?" said several other mages

."Are any of you Lily?" the mage snapped.

"Sorry, Remus," said Sirius."

As I was saying," said Lupin before he was so RUDELY interrupted, "something strange has happened tonight."

Here, Hagrid came running over to the group, crying, "James and Shannon are dead!"

"WHAT?" everyone screamed.

"What do you mean?" cried Sirius.

"You mean to tell us that James and Shannon Potter are dead?" cried Lily.

"Yes," said Hagrid. "James and Shannon have been murdered by the Magician (_they don't like to say his name_), and this," here he showed them a bundle of blankets, "is their poor child."

Lily Snape took one good look at the baby in the bundle. He was pale-skinned with dark hair and gray eyes. He also had a crescent moon-shaped scar on his face. "Little Tyler Potter has defeated Him," said Hagrid, "but he had to pay a terrible price for his deed."

At that, Lily wept. She couldn't believe that her best friend and her husband were both slain by that sworn enemy. She felt sorry for little Tyler and wished that she could help him. Just then, Professor Dumbledore arrived at the scene. He too had heard the sad news of the Potters' demise and wondered about baby Tyler. He said, "I have found a family for Tyler."

Lily was aghast. She knew that another family, especially a foster family, always meant bad news for the baby. She had already heard too many horror stories about children being abused by their foster parents on TV. She would not be letting this child go. "I'm sending him to the Murteys," Dumbledore announced.

"The Murteys?" Lily squeaked. She worked for a big company and knew Mr. Murtey. He was not the kind of person who you'd invite to a party; in fact, he was the kind of person you'd want to avoid. Clarence Murtey was a bully, and his wife, Deanna, was no better. Clarence was described as an antisocial guy with droopy green eyes that are like two emeralds. His thick, straight, rust-colored hair is worn in a style that reminds you of a trailing ribbon. He is tall and has a lean build. His skin is black. He has an upturned nose. His wardrobe is plain.

His wife, Deanna, was described as cruel lady with almond-shaped gray eyes that are like two pieces of steel. Her fine, curly, black hair is worn in a style that reminds you of a pennant blowing in the wind. She is very tall and has a narrow build. Her skin is deeply tanned. She has thick eyebrows and stubby-fingered hands. Her wardrobe is unusual, and is completely green and gray.

They lived with their equally horrible son, Edger, at #15 Fallwood Alley, which was a few ways from where Lily lived. And as for Edgar Murtey, he reminds you of a sneaky serpent. He has large brown eyes that are like two splotches of mud. His fine, straight, amber hair is worn in a style that reminds you of an overused mop. He is very tall and has an overmuscled build. His skin is white. He has high cheekbones and small hands. His wardrobe is severe.

"Now, Albus," she said sternly, "You and I both know that putting Tyler with Muggles is a very bad idea. Perhaps I can adopt him?"

"That's out of the question, Lily," said Dumbledore as he took the baby from her. "You already have your twin children to worry about; you don't need another baby on your hands."

Lily became angry. "I know Clarence Murtey," she snapped, "and I know that he is one of the most horrible people that ever existed on the face of the earth! Well, next to my brother, that is. You cannot do this because…"

"The Murteys are the only family that was willing to take Tyler in," said Dumbledore as he set the baby on the porch. He then slipped a note next to the baby. "Good luck, little Tyler Potter," he whispered as he vanished.

Very soon, everyone else walked away, and Lily Snape was left alone with the baby. She said to him, "Now don't worry about what that kooky old man said, OK, Ty? I promised your mother that I would protect you and I WILL keep that promise. Now, if those Murteys give you a hard time, which I know that they will, just walk down to #29 and tell me." And after planting a kiss on the baby's tiny scarred cheek, Lily returned home.

That night, many wizards cheered for Tyler's victory over the Magician. They raised goblets of wine and shouted, "To Tyler Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived!"

But the next day, the entire wizarding world grieved for the deaths of James and Shannon Potter. Many Muggles, especially those who lived in New York, wept for the little girl who disappeared after her mother's death and never returned. They all wept and asked why they didn't rescue Shannon or her father Seamus from their terrible fate.

And during the time of grief, Deanna Murtey heard crying outside the front door. She opened it and gasped when she discovered a very tiny baby boy lying on the porch. Her husband, Clarence, shouted at her to close the door. Deanna frowned and picked up baby Tyler, not knowing that her lives, along with the lives of her husband and son, were about to be changed forever.

Here begins the story of Tyler James Potter, The Boy-Who-Lived…Just So He Could Rip Off the Harry Potter Story.

* * *

Author's Note: This is slightly different from the original version, but I wanted a few more wizards to know about Tyler's famous act. And instead of McGonagall protesting Dumbledore's decision to place Tyler with the Murteys, I had Lily protest. (_and by the way, Lily's not dead in this story_)

Reviews are greatly appreciated. You can also slam Harry for destroying the Potterverse!

Next Chapter: **Tyler****'s New Life**


	5. A new life

**A new life**

10 years had passed since Tyler Potter came to live with the Murtey family. And if you think that life would be better for him, think again. When Tyler was 2 years old, Clarence and Deanna had cleared out a small room for him in the back of the kitchen; they didn't want him sharing a room with Edger. The room was described as being little more than a huge closet. A simple country rag rug adorns the floor, the walls are an ornate pattern of bricks.

Tyler stayed in that dreary place from his 3rd birthday to his 5th birthday, when he was required to go to school.

Sadly, Clarence and Deanna did not send him to school at all; instead he was made to do all the household chores while the family lounged around the house. And despite the number of social workers contacting them with orders for them to send Tyler to school, they refused to do so. They would not allow Tyler to even get a decent education, and yet, they sent Edger, who was 7 years older than Tyler, to one of the most expensive private academies in Leeds.

Lily continued to keep an eye on Tyler from afar, often wondering why Dumbledore wouldn't allow her to adopt the little boy. She began to plan for the day that Tyler would be removed from the Murteys for good.

For the next few years, Tyler suffered without complaining at the cruel hands of Deanna Murtey. He didn't fight back whenever Edger taunted him and he did whatever Clarence said without argument. By the time that he was 10 years old, Tyler had become a slave to the Murtey family.

You would think that someone would have noticed that there was something wrong at the Murtey house, but Tyler was a very clever actor and he could easily lie about his life and hide what abuse he was getting at home. He could dodge any questions and instead talk about movies or politics or the latest in fashion. He was a very unusual boy.

But many of the neighbors HAD noticed the abuse and alerted authorities many times, only for the Murteys to lie and deny any of the abuse that was happening in their house. Those that had reported the abuse were worried that unless some drastic action was taken, Tyler Potter would never be rescued from his abusive home.

But when the next year rolled around, Tyler's life was going to take a dramatic turn for the better. A part of his secret past was about to come up…

Well, I bet that you're wondering whatever had happened to Harry since he made his wish. Well, needless to say, Harry Potter is now known as Hayley Snape, the (normal) son of Lily Evans and Severus Snape. Lily married Snape and not James. And in this story, Hayley has a disabled cruel twin sister named Hillarie, and a younger sister named Heidi. Not only that, Hayley had several other siblings, who were named Harriet, Hannah, Hunter, Hilda, Haleth, and Howard. They all lived in the same community as Tyler and the Murteys have. Which meant they reminded us of the Weasleys.

FYI, they are all NOTHING like that dreaded red-haired family, A.K.A. the Weasleys.

Anyway, Hayley grew up in a large family and attended the Descanter Academy for Young Mages in Leeds. For the most part, the Snape family was one big happy, boisterous family, except for when it came to the cruelly sarcastic/aggressive Hillarie, who always seemed to ruin the family with her awful behavior. And most of the neighbors who tried countless times to get Tyler out of his home also tried to get Hillarie sent to a mental hospital. And they seemed to fail every time a doctor was sent over and claimed that there was nothing wrong with Hillarie at all.

Well, despite that, we seem to get a feeling that Harry is living what could have been a better life as Hayley Snape, yet he couldn't shake off the feeling that he had condemned an innocent boy from an obscure late 1980's movie to a life filled with abuse while he himself had a loving family.

Which was what had happened.

And when Hayley met Tyler, well, let's just say that all Hell will break loose.

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Author's note: Ok, I know this chapter is short, but please forgive me, I'll add more once I've knocked everything else into place. Basically, this describes Tyler's very sad life with the Murtey family. Of course the Murteys could have been nice to Tyler, but that why would I want to make them nice? I like them better when they're mean. Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!

Next Chapter: Tyler meets Hagrid and finds out that he is a mage.

Please read and Review, not Read and Run!


	6. You're a mage, Tyler Potter!

"_You're a mage, Tyler Potter_!"

It was on the morning before Tyler's 11th birthday that a letter came. Tyler reached for it, but it was blown away by the wind. He frowned and went on to do his chores. Very soon, another letter came. This time, Tyler stuffed it into his pocket with intent to read it later on.

"TYLER!" Deanna screeched as soon as she saw him. "Get dressed! We have guests coming over for dinner tonight and I need you to get the house cleaned up for them!"

Tyler frowned again and ran to his room, quickly changing into another shirt and pants and hid the note in a box that served as his closet. He then walked out to a very impatient Deanna Murtey.

"Tyler," she snapped, "I want for you to clean up the entire house from top to bottom. And after that, I want you to stay out of the way while they're here." Tyler frowned and began cleaning the living room. He cleaned up the master bedroom, washed all the clothes and dishes, and went through Edger's messy room. He often took what Edger didn't like or want anymore. That boy is such a spoiled brat, Tyler thought to himself as he picked up several pairs of shoes, a huge pile of clothes and all the toys he could find and placed them all in a box. That box would later go into his room.

At 6:00 P.M., Tyler was going over his findings when Deanna shoved him his dinner. Usually she would hand him a sandwich, but because she had been so busy cooking, cleaning, and preparing for the guests to come over, all she gave him was cold soup. There was laughter outside the door and Tyler wasn't allowed to be part of it. As he stared into the bowl of soup, Tyler heard a strange bark outside his room. There was a small dog with tufts of fur all over its body. It was small and underfed. Tyler felt sorry for the dog and took her in. After feeding the dog part of the soup, Tyler said to her, "All my life I've been abused and hated and scorned, and no one has ever stood up for me. And I was never allowed to complain about it, either. I never really had anyone to talk to until now."

The dog jumped on him and licked his face. Tyler laughed for the very first time in his life. Tears soon came to his eyes when he realized that he didn't have much of a childhood. From beatings to abuse to chores, Tyler hadn't been allowed one iota of happiness. He frowned as he thought of Edger and the rest of the other kids, who were living better lives than what he was living right now.

The dog barked again, and Tyler said, "You are my guardian angel, sent to me from Heaven." Tyler had no idea what Heaven and angels really were, as the Murteys never allowed him to leave the house, except to go to school. They never even took him to church on Sundays, and Tyler had no concept of God for that matter. Poor Tyler! But perhaps he could set himself free from his unhappy life. "So I will name you Angel," Tyler said to the dog with another smile on his face. Angel curled up in his arms and sighed contently.

When Tyler woke up a few hours later, the Murteys and their guests had all gone to bed and there were large amounts of food that were uneaten still on the table. Tyler quietly crept out of his room with Angel following him. It was now midnight, which meant that Tyler was now 11 years old.

Just then, a giant woke up from the couch that he was sleeping on. He noticed Tyler and said, "I thought you'd never show up."

"Who are you?" Tyler asked, hesitant.

"Me name's Rubeus Hagrid, and I'm the Gamekeeper at Pinecastle Academy," said Hagrid. "And you are…"

Up to now, Tyler didn't know who he really was. Sure he told everyone he met that he was Tyler Potter, but he didn't know what that meant. He had no one that he confided and asking the Murteys about himself was out of the question. "I'm Tyler Potter," he said at last.

Hagrid was surprised. This was Tyler Potter? THE Tyler Potter who survived a horrific attack from the Magician? Why was he dressed in rags? Just then, a gnome showed up. He too was curious about the mysterious boy who lived after his parents were murdered. "Well, hello, Buckanuv," said Hagrid. "I see you are here to meet this Tyler Potter."

Buckanuv stared at the boy for a long time. Finally, he said, "Do my eyes deceive me? Is this true what they say? Tyler Potter? The Boy-Who-Lived?"

"I know him," said Tyler. "I see him everyday in the gardens when Mrs. Murtey makes me weed the flowers. Well, of course I see him, but he never sees me."

"You do?" cried Buckanuv in surprise. Just then, Tyler took a clean towel and wiped part of his face. When he had first come to the Murteys, Deanna had placed a concealer on his scar. But the scar still managed to show, though. Buckanuv and Hagrid gasped. This really was Tyler Potter standing before them.

Buckanuv squealed. "I can't believe my eyes!" He cried as he looked at Tyler again. "I never though I'd see the day that Tyler James Potter would appear here. Here, out of all places!" He ran for the door.

"Hey, wait! Where are you going?" cried Tyler.

"To tell the world that Tyler Potter is here!" Buckanuv shouted as he disappeared.

The sounds of apparent joy brought the Murteys out of their bedrooms and into the living room. Tyler said to Hagrid, "I got this strange letter this morning." He pulled out the letter. "What does this mean?" Hagrid opened the envelope and handed the letter to him.

Tyler read the following letter: _Dear Mr. Tyler Potter, we are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into Pinecastle School of Magic. The reason why we sent you this letter is because of your exceptional deed and out of your parents' desires for you to attend this very school. We await your owl._

At that, Tyler gasped. Pinecastle? The school for mages? He stared at Hagrid. "Why would this school called Pinecastle send me this letter?" he asked.

"Because you're a mage, Tyler Potter!" Hagrid smiled as he looked at the boy.

At that, Clarence Murtey came charging in. He was already angry because of the fact that Tyler was talking to two people, but this was final. He would not have any of this magical nonsense in his house.

"TYLER!" he growled, causing Tyler to jump out of his seat. "What is this nonsense?"

Hagrid smiled, "I believe that you are Clarence Murtey, Tyler's guardian?" Clarence was so startled by this huge man speaking to him that he plopped onto the ground. His wife and son hid behind him. "And I have reasons to believe that young Tyler has no idea of his magical heritage?"

"They never told me anything about myself," Tyler cried out. "In fact, they beat me and hurt me and they make me do all the chores!" He was starting to cry now. "And when I'm not doing chores, they lock me in a closet and never let me come out. They never let me go to school or play outside or have any friends! They tell me what a worthless little brat that I am, that they should have sent me into an orphanage, and they say mean things about my parents…" At the last part, Tyler burst into tears.

Hagrid was angry. "So you abuse this boy and make him do all the chores and you never let him have a moment's peace? Not even the chance to go to school?"

Deanna said, "Well, he is an odd boy…"

"MURTEY!" Hagrid yelled. "I should have known that you would abuse the boy. Lily Snape was right to question your integrity as a foster parent!"

"Li-Lily?" cried Deanna. "You mean her? She works with my husband."

"Yes," said Hagrid. Then he snarled as he looked at Deanna, "and you're no better, Mrs. Murtey. You've done horrible things to the boy and when the headmaster hears of this, you'll be makin' your excuses to Saint Peter!"

Tyler looked at the clock. It was now 4:39 A.M. Hagrid said to him, "Come, Tyler. Grab your things. You're leaving that crappy place."

"Our house is not crappy!" Edger cried out in turn. "It's a nice little place. Tyler's just upset because his parents are dead and all…"

ZAP! Hagrid pointed his wand/umbrella at Edger and a tail grew where his behind should be. Edger screamed and rubbed his sore behind. Deanna cradled her son and Clarence let out a string of curses at the giant. Tyler laughed and Angel barked. Hagrid waved his wand again and all of Tyler's lifetime possessions were rolled into a small bag. "You Muggles will regret harming this boy," Hagrid yelled. "Come, Tyler."

And as Tyler James Potter left the only home that he knew, he had no idea that his past would resurface…

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Author's note: Yay! Tyler finally gets rescued from his mean and hateful foster family! But for how long? Don't worry, readers, we won't be seeing them very much. I also plan to kill off the Murteys in the 3rd book. But that won't be until later.

(1) I just had to include the part where Hagrid zapped Dudley. Only Dudley doesn't get zapped in this story. It is Edger! Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

(2) I originally planned for Tyler to run away and meet Buckanuv, but scrapped that plan in favor of him meeting the gnome when Hagrid comes to collect him. Nice.

Next Chapter: Tyler discovers who his parents are and how and why they died.

Now send in your reviews. Flames are reserved for the Murteys.


	7. Crossroads

Sorry for taking so long to write, but on May 18, Voldemort came along and stole Tyler away from me. (to Voldemort: _GIVE HIM BACK_!) You can find out how and why that happened if you go to and read Chapter 2 of my ongoing series **Ramblings of a Crazy Girl**.

Also, the _Order of the Phoenix_ is coming out in theaters very very soon. (_yay_!)

And now, back to the story.

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**Crossroads**

Hagrid took Tyler to Greycliff Crossing, which was a magical shopping place for wizards. There, Tyler received an owl he named Leaf. Hagrid also obtain a secret package from his vault. That morning, they went to a popular restaurant called The Oriental Pine Buffet, where Tyler sat with the giant and listened to a very sad story…

Hagrid said, "Many years ago, the wizarding world was a peaceful place. Mages and mundanes alike lived in harmony. Then, everything changed when the wicked Magician Adolovsky showed up here and began killing people. Mundane or mage, it did not matter; he killed them all the same."

Tyler said, "But why would he do that?"

Hagrid said, "There are some mages in this world who are evil. You must never seek them out, Tyler. Though the Murteys have abused you and you may wish to get your revenge on them, don't kill them. They will get what they deserve one day."

"But what about my parents?" Tyler asked. "Can you tell me why my parents are dead?"

Hagrid frowned over the story that he was about to tell. Then he said, "Your father, James Potter, was one of the richest wizards in the wizarding world. Your mother, Shannon LeSouse-Rowes, also came from a rich and powerful family. Their marriage, some had said, was a great love match…"

Tyler cried as he listened to Hagrid's description of how James and Shannon met and quickly fell in love. He tried very hard not to be too upset when Hagrid spoke of the Potters' joy at the birth of their only child, Tyler. "I remember that day well," said the giant. "James took you and showed you off to his friends; he was so proud of you. Your mother just beamed with excitement. But alas, their joy would cost them their lives."

"Meaning?" Tyler questioned.

"Adolovsky got wind of your birth and he got jealous," said the giant. "He gathered followers and began attacking people who were either gay, retarded, or born out of wedlock. But the worst of his act was sure to come."

"Yes, yes, what happened next?" Tyler was getting nervous now.

"On Halloween night, when you were just a year old, He came to your house," said Hagrid. "Your father knew that danger was coming and sent you and your mother upstairs. The wicked magician killed James Potter. He then went upstairs and found you and your mother hiding in your nursery…"

Tyler closed his eyes and thought of that particular night: _Shannon clung to her baby son as the evil sorcerer burst into the nursery. "You there!" he had yelled. "Stand aside and hand me the boy!"_

_"Oh no no no! Not my baby! Not Tyler!" Shannon screamed._

_"Stand aside, you stupid girl!" the Magician laughed. "You will stand and watch as I kill your precious baby son!"_

_"NO! Stanislaus, don't do this! Please don't!" Shannon cried as she set her son down and reached for his wand._

_"Awww, poor little Miss Shannon, you were never very good at holding on to the people you care about. Your mother is dead, your sister is dead, your brother has disappeared, and your father is nowhere to be found. And now, your dearest James has also met his fate…"_

_That did it. Shannon grew angry and tried to grab the wizard's wand out of his hands. "You killed him?" she screamed. "You killed my Jamie? You are so going to pay for this!"_

_"Not unless I make you pay first with your son's death," said the evil sorcerer. "Avada Kedavra!"_

_And with that, he waved his wand at Tyler. But Shannon pressed the wand at her neck as the spell came out. She fell to the ground. When the smoke cleared, the Magician saw the body of Shannon LeSouse-Rowes Potter lying dead at his feet._

_The wicked magician laughed as he looked upon the dead woman who he had once loved. That was, until she turned him down and fell in love with James Potter. And that father of hers refused to hand her over to him, resulting in his death. Just then he aimed his wand at the baby. "And now, with your death, Tyler James Potter, I will be the ruler of the wizarding world. AVADA KEDAVRA!"_

_The Magician zapped him. But something amazing happened: the moment Tyler was zapped, the deadly spell rebounded and hit the him. He screamed, "What in all the hells is going on here?" Just as he was about to kill Tyler, a shrill voice rang out._

_"Step away from that baby!"_

_He turned and stared at a tiny girl dressed in a wizard's robe. She was wielding a wand the way a soldier would wield a sword. "Fear me, Dark One, for I do not fear you!" she said, with a hiss in her voice._

_The evil mage laughed. "I dare you to fight me!" he yelled. But little Isabella simply stared at her enemy. She would not let him get near the baby at all. "You're just a little girl. You can't beat me!"_

_He shouldn't have been so cocky. Isabella proved to be a powerful and deadly fighter. She zapped him repeatedly whenever he went near the baby, or pounced on him and beat him up. She looked at Tyler and saw a crescent moon shaped cut on his head. "Oh, so you hurt a little baby?" she screeched. "Now you shall die!" She proceeded to kill the Magician. Tyler grabbed a wand Shannon was carrying and waved it, killing the evil mage. He let out a horrible scream as Isabella swung herself over to a window._

_"Now you beg for mercy from Isabella!" she yelled as she signed her initials onto the window with her wand the way Zorro would sign his signature Z with his sword. The Magician Adolovsky, now deprived of any way of life, fled from the house into the night, leaving behind two tiny children._

"And on the day that you defeated the Magician, many people celebrated this unexpected victory by making it a national holiday," said Hagrid.

"But did he die?" Tyler asked.

"Some said that he did indeed die that night," said Hagrid, "and others said that he just disappeared. Nonetheless, when word got out that you had defeated Him, no thanks to little Miss Isabella Dumbledore, the entire wizarding world made that day a special holiday. You were named a hero. And…"

"My parents?"

"Your parents were honored in a wonderful way," said the giant. "Many people who were their friends had a memorial built for them in Keningson Park. Mundanes didn't know what the memorial was about but they let it stand anyway. And now, it's been 10 years since your heroic deed, and a huge celebration is being held right now." He smiled as he stared at the young boy. "It's time for you to embrace your destiny, Tyler Potter. Come." He took Tyler's hand and they stepped out into the strange world that would recognize Tyler's famous deed, yet be ignorant of his abusive home life…

They left the restaurant and stepped into the streets, where scores of mages turned out to see them. It turned out that almost everyone had stopped whatever they were doing and saw Tyler Potter standing among them. Tyler gasped as he saw everyone looking at him.

"Hagrid," he said, "they're all staring at me! What do I do?"

"Just play along," said the giant. "It can't be that bad."

Tyler sighed and waved to the people. They all cheered back with unrestrained enthusiasm. But this failed to lift his spirits, and Hagrid frowned as he looked at the boy.

Tyler's dark hair was messy and long overdue for a trim, he was wearing glasses that were too big for his face, his body was covered with many cuts and bruises (which Hagrid suspected was from child abuse) and even his clothes looked like they were about to fall apart. And his entire disposition was one of sadness and loneliness.

Hagrid said, "They didn't even think to take you to the doctor or anything like that?"

"No," Tyler said mournfully.

Hagrid said, "I always knew nothing good would come from you staying with those Murteys. I told that Albus Dumbledore many times that it was not good for you to stay with those Mundanes. But did he listen? NO! He told me not to intervene or help you in any way; he wanted the Murteys to raise you as they saw fit, which meant that they abused you without caring about if you were hurt or not. I recruited Buckanuv here to guard you and report to me how the Murteys were treating you. That was back when you were just 8 years old."

"And that was when I first saw him," said Tyler. "But I never really spoke to him at all."

"And Buckanuv sat there in your family garden collecting evidence that you were abused and sending it to me," said Hagrid. "And when Dumbledore ignored my report that you were being abused by the Murteys, I decided that it was time to collect you and bring you here."

"So where are we going?" Tyler asked him.

"We're going to the Rosholt Hotel, which is on Bellini Street," said Hagrid. "That's where you'll be staying until its time for you to go to Pinecastle."

Tyler gasped as he saw the hotel looming overhead. The hotel resembled an 1800's English castle. It was a very small castle, built of ivory marble with a balcony overlooking the entire place. Hagrid said to him, "This hotel was built over 60 years ago and it has been the theme hotel in so many movies that were made."

"Really?" said Tyler. "I have never seen a wizard-made movie, much less a mundane-made movie."

"Yes," said Hagrid, "and that's something else that we're going to fix." He stepped at the hotel counter and said, "Is Selena Descanter in?"

The girl at the counter said, "You again?"

"Of course," said Hagrid. "Could you tell her that Tyler Potter is here?"

"Tyler?" cried Marnie Buggold. "You mean that Tyler Potter is here? In this very hotel?" She took a look at him and said, "Why, he's a right mess! We must have him cleaned up at once! No boy deserves to look like that at all, especially not our Tyler!"

Tyler frowned and looked at his feet; it was the first time someone other than Hagrid and Buckanuv had noticed his abusive past. Marnie saw him and said, "There's no need to be ashamed; we all knew that no good would come from you living with those mundanes, and yet that headmaster placed you in that home."

"I agree," said Selena as she came from her office. She reminds you of an unstoppable hunting dog with two large gray eyes that are like two windows looking out on an overcast sky. Her fine, wavy, cherry red hair is worn in a style that reminds you of a shark's fin. She is short and has a narrow build. Her skin is cream-colored. She has delicate ears. Her wardrobe is severe, with a lot of orange and red.

"I say Albus Dumbledore has gotten worse over the years. He has not only came up with the rather insane idea of sorting our children into houses, and even naming those houses after non-existent animals, but he's got plans for our Tyler as well."

"I know of his plans," said Hagrid. "He plans to send Tyler into Unicornfeather, where all the "_Golden Students_" go. Both his parents were in Unicornfeather, so Tyler has to go there. Any other house isn't good enough for him."

"What a fool he is to be plotting to force the boy to his side," Selena snapped. "But enough of that. I'm sure he could use a nice bath and a bed to sleep in."

She took Tyler up several flights of stairs, until they reached the 8th floor. Selena said, "I usually save this floor for celebrities and such, but in this case, you shall have the finest room in my hotel." She unlocked a door and led him into the room. The floor in this room is plush white carpet. The walls are a creamy off-white with a border of white along the middle and bottom. A sweet fragrance reminiscent of incense hits you like a wall, until the unseasonal breeze from the open window dissipates it.

There was a huge bed pushed against one wall and a desk in front of the window. There was also a huge armoire in a corner of the room and a coat closet with a mirrored door. There was also a washroom and a huge bronze tub that took over nearly half the washroom.

"How do you like this room?" Selena smiled. "This room is especially for the elite mages who visit here."

"I think it's...beautiful," Tyler hesitated.

"He likes it," Selena said to Hagrid. "And now I must find a way to make the Headmaster pay for the use of this room." She swept herself out of the room, leaving Tyler and Hagrid to themselves.

Tyler said, "What do I do now?"

"Bathe first, then sleep. I'll have some new clothes for you tomorrow," said Hagrid.

"Fair enough," said Tyler. He set his owl down and went to the sink to give Angel a bath. The dog hadn't had a bath in weeks, meaning that the water was very dirty and Tyler had to rinse out the sink several times, just to get her cleaned. When Angel was at last cleaned and exploring her new surroundings, Tyler walked into the bathroom to take his own bath.

Back at the Murteys, he was lucky to even have a sinkful of cold water to wash in, but at Rosholt, he drew a tubful of hot water and sat in it, unaware that the years of dirt and grime that had accumulated on his body were staining the tub black. Tyler took the soap and washed away all of the grime until his skin turned red and every cut that was on his body bled.

He screamed and quickly dashed cold water on himself until the bleeding stopped and the pain subsided. Once that was over, Tyler drained the tub and cleaned away all the dirt that remained, smiling as he watched the brown water go down the drain, along with many painful memories of the abuse the Murteys had handed him. After the entire bathroom and sink were made spotless, Tyler grabbed his pajamas and put them on, leaving his dirty clothes on the floor, another thing the Murteys would never let him do at home.

Hagrid saw him walking out the bathroom and noted his many cuts. He said, "First thing tomorrow, you'll have to see a doctor about those cuts and bruises. Then we must get you a decent haircut and some new clothes…"

But Tyler did not hear him, for he had crawled into the soft bed and fell asleep. He had had a very long day, first by escaping from the Murteys and being thrust into a strange new world that he didn't understand.

And even then, his troubles were far from over. In fact, they were only beginning...

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And there you have it! Next time, we'll be seeing the 1st meeting between Tyler and Harry (_who is masquerading as Hayley Snape in this series_.)

Please review, check out my other story, and read about what happened to Tyler on my MySpace page.

Next chapter: Tyler meets the people who would become his lifelong friends (and enemies)

Note: Joanne didn't invent the concept of little Amber coming over to save Harry; that was my idea. Amber/Isabella won't have much of a role in Tyler's story although she plays a huge role in my other fanfiction stories.


	8. Pinecastle Academy of Magic

**Pink Royale**: _And now, I know you've all been waiting for this moment and it finally happens. Tyler and Harry finally meet for the very first time. (YAY!) So for all of you who are feeling depressed because the series is over, take heart, for you can consider this an alternative route to Harry's story._

**Joanne** (as in J. K. Rowling): Hey! That's _my_ story!

**Pink Royale**: _Sorry! So anyway, the story really begins. Yay._

**Joanne**: Oh, but of course. I can't write Tyler's story, but you can.

**Pink Royale**: _Thanks._

**

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Pinecastle Academy of Magic

For a whole month, Tyler Potter stayed in his room in Rosholt, only coming out to get his school supplies or eating his meals in the Rosholt Dining Hall.

The day after he arrived in Rosholt, a doctor was called in to look at his injuries. He said to Selena, "Albus will be receiving an earful from me regarding the boy; no child should have this many injuries." Tyler growled and bit back tears as a healing poultice was placed on his back, legs, arms, and face.

Also, all of Tyler's clothes that the Murteys had forced him to wear were taken from him and burned, and even his pajamas, shoes, and underwear were destroyed. Hagrid had gone to various clothing stores and brought him several clothes and shoes. Selena had also arranged for a hairdresser to cut Tyler's hair, which had grown very long due to years of neglect and the skipping on the occasional haircut.

Tyler stood in the middle of his room, staring at himself in the mirror. There was a young boy with dark hair, grey eyes, and pale skin staring back at him. When it was proven that Tyler could not see two feet in front of him, the doctor in charge of him had conjured some glasses, and charmed them to grow as Tyler grew.

He was wearing a brown t-shirt, a pair of blue jeans, and a pair of sandals. It was his final night at the hotel, and a small party was planned for him at the Oriental Pine Buffet. Although it was just him, Hagrid, and Selena, scores of other people had shown up at the restaurant, all dying to get a glimpse of their young hero. The hostess had pulled out several large flasks of Autumn Diamond, a drink that was only served on special occasions. The drink was pale blue with a few bubbles and served in a tall tumbler. The drink smells excellent and tastes like fish. Two tankards full are as filling as an entire meal.

Hagrid said, "I am delighted to know that you are going to Pinecastle tomorrow, but the question is, do you yourself want to go?"

"Why do you ask me that question?" said Tyler.

"You don't have to go if you don't want to," said Selena. "There are plenty of schools out there that would be happy to have you."

"Really?" said Tyler

"There are other…schools for young mages and I believe that you should be attending another school. Pinecastle isn't the kind of school for a young mage such as yourself; you who survived the attack by that evil sorcerer," said Selena.

Tyler looked at her and said, "I could at least get a year at Pinecastle, right?"

"He should at least do one year there," Hagrid agreed with him.

"Very well then," said Selena, "but the first time I hear that he gets injured or whatnot, I'm pulling him out of there."

Hagrid nodded, but he knew that something wouldn't be good, especially where Tyler was concerned...

The next day, Tyler stood at the train station, waiting to go to Pinecastle. He wondered what the Murteys would do to him when they discovered his true identity. Tyler himself was still trying to get used to the fact that James and Shannon Potter were his parents, and that they had given up their lives for him. The fact that his parents truly loved him made Tyler cry. He had never been loved or even liked for that matter. The Murteys were of course after the money. The foster care agency was paying them good money to raise Tyler.

Just then, a young boy approached him. He said, "I didn't mean to intrude, but are you who they say you are?"

Tyler was confused. He said, "Who do they say I am?"

"They say that you are Tyler Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived," said the boy. "My name is Hayley Snape. I'm going to Pinecastle too."

Tyler said, "Do you know what Pinecastle is?"

Hayley said, "You mean you've never heard of Pinecastle? My dad teaches there. He's wanted to get the Defense Against the Dark Arts post for many years, but right now Professor Marin holds the job. And dad's been upset about it."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Tyler said, feeling upset because he never had a father. He refused to even consider Clarence Murtey as his father, abusive that man was. Hayley then said, "And then I got my acceptance letter to Pinecastle and my sister Hillarie throws a fit. She's not a mage, but it seems as if every time I get to do something or have something special, Hillarie always wants in on it. I swear to God that that girl is such a spoiled brat…"

Tyler giggled, for he knew that Hillarie had reminded him of Edger Murtey. _Those two would be such great friends_ he reasoned as he continued to listen to Hayley describe life with his mother, brothers and sisters. Then he said, "I hope I can get into Phoenixhorn and as far away from her as I possibly can. If you ever see Hilarie, don't talk to her, because if you do, she'll force you to become her friend…"

"I heard that, Hayley Snape!" a girl's voice cut in. Tyler guessed that that had to be Hayley's sister Hillarie. She looked almost like him, yet her hair was shorter than most people should say that a girl's hair should be. In sort, her hair was cut very close to her scalp. "You are a liar and a brat, Hayley," Hillarie snapped as she stared at Tyler. "And who's this? Just another loser who you've decided that you want to hang out with? You really are such a jerk, Hayley."

"Hillarie Rose Snape, don't you dare talk to Tyler Potter in that way!" Hayley yelled as he whipped out his wand and aimed it at his sister. "You show him no respect!"

"That's enough, you two!" a woman's voice rang out. "Hayley, don't wave your wand at your sister, and Hillarie, leave your brother alone." Lily Snape continued to admonish her daughter for being cruel to her brother and being greedy because Hayley got to go to Pinecastle. Then looking at Tyler, Lily said, "You seem somewhat familiar."

"Familiar? How?" Tyler looked at the strange woman and her children for a long time.

"You remind me of someone that I once knew," said Lily. "He claimed to like me, but I knew that he was in love with your mother. But now they're both dead."

"You knew my parents?" Tyler asked in surprise. He knew that Hagrid told him the sad story about James and Shannon's deaths, but he had failed to mention that there were others who knew the Potters as well. "Yes I did," said Lily at last. "Long enough to miss them when they were murdered."

Soon, Lily took Hayley and Tyler to the train. "Now behave yourself, Hayley, or you'll be grounded when you come home." Tyler quickly boarded the train and found a seat. Hayley frowned at Hillarie and smiled at a set of twins. But before he could board the train, Hillarie kicked his leg and Hayley went sprawling.

"Why on earth did you go and do that for, Hillarie?" a young boy snapped. He helped Hayley up and they both boarded the train.

"Oh shut up, Martin McGuire," Hillarie snapped. "You're just a stupid little orphan boy without a single relative in the world who could take you in and get you outta our house!"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" the boy named Marty yelled.

"I said _have a good time at Pinecastle_," Hillarie lied, knowing full well that the boys would be more than happy to be rid of that brat.

"That's what I thought you said," said Hayley as he and Marty boarded the train. "Have fun at Nusan Prep!"

"That's not funny!" Hillarie yelled as the train took off.

Tyler was sitting by himself in a compartment eating candy when Hayley and Marty came in. "Are you ok?" Hayley asked Marty.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Marty replied. In truth he had heard Hillarie's insults many times, he hid his hurt feelings from everyone, including Hayley. Until now. Tears fell down his tanned face. The boys reached Tyler's compartment and saw Tyler lying with his dog and owl as if he was asleep. But he really wasn't. Marty sat down and gasped, "Oh my God, you're Tyler Potter!"

Tyler woke up. "Of course I am," he said. "But how did you know?" Marty said, "Everyone in the wizarding world has been talking about you since last year. In fact, your birthday has been made a national holiday."

"And not only that," said Hayley, "dad's been trying to get you into Pinecastle for quite some time now. Ok, it's mostly mum's doing, but you know how the story goes…"

"And you do know that we're getting closer to the school, so you better get dressed," a young girl said sternly as she stared at the boys. "My name's Calliope Cornelia Riddle," she said after a while, "and you must be Tyler Potter."

"You assume correctly," Tyler frowned. All day, many people had cheered whenever they saw him, and they congratulated him on being able to beat the Magician. But Tyler wasn't happy; that feat also cost him his parents and gave him an unhappy life with the Murteys. Coco Riddle was not done yet. "They say that you would most likely end up in Unicornfeather just like your parents."

"Yeah," said Tyler. "Just like my parents."

"And besides," said Marty, "I hear that they want you to try and re-create your father's story."

"Ha!" Tyler laughed. "Like I'll ever be able to do that!" Now that the train had reached the school, Hagrid took the kids into the boats and sailed them across the lake to the school. The school was actually a sprawling castle, built of pale grey stone and set beside a river, and it once belonged to a minor baroness. It contained a vast library, a massive treasure room, a great many stained glass windows, a lavish garden with a maze built of red stone, a quantity of ancient tapestries, and it appeared to be populous. It was approached by a narrow dirt path. Nearby is a bustling human village in which there is a sacred shrine. The holding is rich in precious stones.

When they got to the school's front door, a mean boy leered towards them, saying, "I hear that Tyler Potter's gonna be studying at Pinecastle. Like orphans will ever be accepted here, famous or no." Then he and his friends started laughing.

"Oh, shut up, you stupid jerk!" A violet-haired girl snapped at the brown-haired boy. To Tyler, she said, "That's Malcolm Dratzins. Rumor has it that his father was once in the Magician's inner circle!" Tyler, Marty, and Coco giggled.

"I heard that!" said an older witch as she came out to see the children. The witch said, "Hello, and welcome to Pinecastle Academy of Magic. My name is Professor McGonagall. Before you go to class, I will put you in your assigned houses. Follow me."

As he turned and followed Marty and Coco, Tyler was unaware that the in next few hours, his life would no longer be the same…

Professor McGonagall led the kids into the Great Hall. There were many wizards there, all teachers, students, and staff. They all cheered as they saw the kids. Tyler saw that many of them were staring at him. He assumed that everyone knew that he was indeed Tyler Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived. But he left it alone; he would deal with that later.

McGonagall picked up the Sorting Hat and said, "When I call your name, please take the Sorting Hat and go to the house where you are assigned." Coco was called first; she was placed in Phoenixhorn. Malcolm Dratzins was placed (surprisingly) in Unicornfeather. The violet-haired girl, Sophia Mueller, was also placed in Phoenixhorn. A girl named Galadriel Black was placed in Dragonsting.

As each child was sent to a particular house (Unicornfeather, Pixiepuffle, Dragonsting, and Phoenixhorn), Tyler wondered if any of the kids would accept him for who he really was. He knew that they would not. He watched as Marty and Hayley were both sent to Phoenixhorn and a frightened boy named Alistair Johnson was also placed in Phoenixhorn.

"Tyler Potter!" Just then, the sound of his name sent Tyler hurtling back to reality. Everyone was looking at him. Tyler approached the stool warily, just as he approached the cruel and abusive Murteys when they had a chore for him to do. He sat down and the hat was placed on his head. The hat said, "You're the famous son of James and Shannon Potter. Wonderful thing you did defeating that evil Magician. But alas for you, you have lived with a cruel family and you would like to get revenge on them for mistreating you. Sad to say, your parents were in Unicornfeather, but I'm afraid that I'm gonna have to put you in Phoenixhorn!"

Tyler stood up and walked over to the Phoenixhorn table amid cheers from most of the school, save for Unicornfeather. They weren't too happy about this. But Tyler didn't care; he was too busy shaking hands with Professor Dumbledore, who was the Headmaster of Pinecastle and sitting with his brand new friends. Malcolm Dratzins frowned and muttered, "So Tyler would rather be a Phoenixhorn and hang out with his friends than join me in Unicornfeather? We shall see, Tyler Potter. Oh yes, we shall see."

That night, Tyler sat up in his dorm petting Angel and staring out the window. The room is bright and sunlit, and huge. The floor is a checkerboard of tiles. One wall is painted in an ugly orange, while the rest are aqua. There were two large beds, a huge dresser, an armoire, and a door leading to the washroom. The students who were in Phoenixhorn shared a dorm room; Alistair Johnson, his dorm mate, was already asleep in the other bed. He longed to know more about his parents. He then remembered what Lily Snape had said to him when they first met: "_You seem somewhat familiar_." Did she mean him or James?

Tyler said to the dog, "All my life I wished that I could escape from the Murteys and know about my past. Now that I have done both, I wish to know about my parents. But how can I do that, knowing that they're both dead?"

Tyler had cried before, but with very little pain. This time, however, he was truly sobbing. He cried for himself, his dead parents, his abusive past, and the fact that he might never recover. Just then, Hayley Snape approached him. When he saw Tyler crying, his own heart broke for him; he knew all too well about the plight of Marty McGuire and how Hillarie Snape treated him.

So Hayley said, "Don't cry, Tyler. I'm your friend and I'm here for you when you need me. No one will hurt you ever again." He then gave Tyler a hug. Tyler leaned in and continued crying.

* * *

Please review, check out my other stories, and read about what happened to Tyler on my MySpace page. There is a sequel to this story, which also deals with Tyler and several other people as they go on an epic adventure.

And if you have time, go back to the second chapter and right at the part where Voldemort says, "_Book says die_!" and everyone reads the book and several of them fall down dead, guess who dies. Send me a list of those who die and I'll give you another insight as well as the answer.

Next chapter: Tyler begins his new life in Slytherin.


	9. Life in Phoenixhorn

**Pink Royale**: _What happens next after that infamous meeting? They go to class, of course!_

**Harry**: Wait! There's some crazy people out there who might think that this is a _Tyler/Hayley_ pairing!

**Pink Royale**: _Oh, let them think! We've got a tale to tell._

**Harry**: Ok, so can I write a fic about Tyler and Hayley hooking up?

**Pink Royale**: _NO! They're mine!_

* * *

**Life in ****Phoenixhorn**

The next day, Tyler and Marty found themselves running to their first class. They had woken up late and almost missed breakfast. But when they walked into a classroom, Sophia hissed to them, "You guys are late too? Shame. I was up at the crack of dawn and then I got lost…"

But she never got to finish her story, because Professor McGonagall had noticed them and snapped, "Why are you late to class?" Of course Tyler and Marty couldn't say anything. The teacher then said, "Perhaps one of you should have gotten here on time. Now take your seats."

Later that day, the kids were sitting in Potions class as Professor Snape walked in. He took one look at Tyler and said, "So, I believe that we have Mister Tyler Potter here, our newest celebrity."

Tyler said, "I hear that all the time."

"They also say that you are one of the most powerful mages who ever walked the face of the earth," said the Professor. "And I believe that you have met my son Hayley?"

Tyler said, "Yes?"

Snape said, "Perhaps you do not realize this now, but your future and mine apparently are intertwined…" He looked down and saw Sophia writing in her diary. "Pay attention in class, Miss Mueller!" He snapped so loud, it not only startled Sophia, but it frightened Alistair and the rest of the class as well.

For the next few weeks, Tyler seemed to be content. He had Marty and Coco, who were his new friends. He also hung out with Hayley and Sophia. Sometimes Alistair would join them if he wasn't too afraid. Every weekend the kids would flock to the nearby village of Pineview, where they would go to The Conjurer's Grimoire, a huge, boisterous tavern that served a drink called Sherry Brew. The drink was Sky blue with silvery swirls and an apple slice on the edge of the glass. The drink smells great and tastes decent. The locals generally pass it around, rather than one person drinking it all.

They would also go watch movies at the Theater of the Star, where movies such as _Beyond Science_, _The Heart Readers_, and _Maximum Warriors: Strikeforce_ would be playing. Other times, they would walk through the maze in the gardens, or read the books in the library.

As for Malcolm, he continued to hate Tyler for betraying him and going into Phoenixhorn. Tyler hated Malcolm because he was a jerk. Both boys would taunt each other constantly, often when their two houses had classes together.

An example of this would be the day the kids were standing outside with their brooms during flight class. Alistair had broken his arm during the flight training and Madame Hooch had to take him to the hospital wing. Malcolm had taken the opportunity to steal Alistair's ball-shaped Remember-All and tossed it into the air.

"You're such a big fat jerk!" Sophia yelled as the ball disappeared.

"Just try to stop me," Malcolm scoffed at her.

Tyler seized this opportunity to fly into the air and catch the ball. Unfortunately for him, Professor McGonagall had happened to be watching the entire scene play out. And as Tyler landed to the cheers of his classmates, Professor McGonagall came to the field and shouted, "Tyler Potter!"

Just then, the sound of his name sent Tyler hurtling back to reality. Everyone was looking at him. Tyler approached the older witch warily, wondering if she would expel him. And if he were to be expelled, Tyler would be packing his bags and be sent back to the abusive Murteys, who would be happy torturing him for days on end. Or Tyler could stay with Hagrid or even Selena; she had promised to find him another school if things didn't work for him at Pinecastle.

But nothing of the sort happened. Instead, McGonagall took him and walked into Professor Marin's classroom. "Martinius, I need to borrow my daughter," she whispered to the professor. Very soon, a young girl appeared before them. McGonagall took one look at her daughter and said, "Isabella, I've got us a new seeker."

"What?" Isabella cried out. "You mean I have to train him to be on the team? Not happening!"

"Now Isabella, don't be rude," said McGonagall. "Tyler here has the skills."

"I don't think so, mom," said Isabella. "I've just had tryouts last week; and I've chosen Lorcan Friskin to be on the team..."

"You have," said the older woman. "But just this once, please let Tyler Potter play a single game."

"I'll think about it," said Isabella.

"But I think we must figure out his punishment for disobeying me," said Madam Hooch as she showed up in the hallway. "He is to clean out the cellar and polish the trophies that sit in the Spammitch Room." She beckoned to Tyler and he followed her to the Spammitch Room.

Later that day, after Tyler served his detention, Marty, Hayley, and Coco could hardly contain themselves when he told them about joining the Phoenixhorn Spammitch team. Tyler also said, "And you won't believe it, but they say that my dad was one of the greatest seekers that had ever roamed these halls." Hayley frowned, remembering with disdain the many stories that his mother would tell him. Lily Snape told him stories about a seeker named James Potter, and his seemingly impossible quest to get Lily Evans to go out with him.

_Every day, James would chase Lily, and Lily would always push him back. That was, until one day, Lily had discovered that James had fallen in love with a younger girl named Shannon Rowes. Now that had been a girl with her head on her shoulders; yet her only weakness was choosing to hang out with the Marauders. Hayley also remembered Lily telling him that she was very much heartbroken when she found out that James and Shannon were dating; it had taken her forever to eventually hook up with Severus Snape._

And as Tyler, Marty, and Coco spoke of what was to come, all Hayley was able to do was think about the last part of Lily's story: _Within a few years, James and Shannon married and they had a son named Tyler. But then the next year, that evil Magician had killed Tyler's parents, leaving Tyler an orphan and Lily more heartbroken than ever._

"Hayley, hey Hayley!" Tyler's voice brought him back to the present. They were standing alone in the halls, and it was several minutes before dinner. "Are you OK?"

"Well," Hayley began, but to be perfectly honest, he didn't know what to say to Tyler. Ever since he hugged Tyler on the night that they first came to Pinecastle, Hayley had some degree of difficulty talking to him. Sure they spent plenty of time together, but that was whenever they were with Marty and Coco and sometimes Sophia and Alistair. But who knew what would happen if the boys were alone together?

"Really, I'm OK," said Hayley, but Tyler frowned at him.

Tyler then said, "I know you're not OK. Hayley, talk to me. What is up with you?"

Hayley sighed and gave Tyler another hug. But this time, they were a bit closer than they should be. That was until, "Ahem!" There was Isabella Dumbledore, standing in the hallway with an angry look on her face as she stared at them. She said, "It would be nice if you two planned on having dinner with us." The boys sighed and followed Isabella to the dining room, knowing that they would always be special to each other.

* * *

**Pink Royale**: _Hey! I thought I said no slash!_

**Harry**: Aww, c'mon, Jacquel. Can't I just write one little story about them? Please?

**Pink Royale**: _No way, Harry! And besides, I won't be pairing Tyler with anyone at least until the 3rd book._

**Harry**: That's not fair, Jacquel! I just want a slash story about Tyler and Hayley.

**Pink Royale**: _For the last time, Harry Potter, NO, NO, and heck NO! Tyler and Hayley belong to me! You will NOT write a slash fanfic about them!_

**Harry**: Hey readers: should Jacquel make the series a Tyler/Hayley pairing? If so, then please drop her a line! We'd love to hear from you!

**Pink Royale**: _Harry? _

Next chapter: **The Halloween Party**.


	10. Halloween

**Claire**: _Now that we've gotten the story going, let's take some time out to have a little Halloween fun! _

**Harry**: But I want this to be a _Tyler/Hayley_ pairing!

**Claire**: _Not on your life, Harry. _

**Harry**: Why not, Jacquel?

**Claire**: _Because these characters belong to me, not you! Now let's begin the story!_

**

* * *

**

Halloween

Time soon passed, and now Halloween had arrived. Tyler soon realized that the Magician had killed his parents around that time 10 years ago and he grew wary. Marty, Hayley, and Coco tried to reassure him, but something just wasn't right.

As for Halloween at the Murteys, Tyler had never been allowed to celebrate Halloween at all. He did not wear a costume, and he certainly wasn't allowed to go trick-or-treating or to eat candy at all. While the Murteys took Edger to various Halloween parties, Tyler was locked in his room. Little did they know that every year on that day, Tyler would cry for his dead parents and wonder why they could not fight off the Magician and/or escaped with him.

But in Pinecastle, the national holiday was getting into full swing as scores of mages around the world wore black and orange costumes and held parades and parties in various cities all around the world. The school was decorated with a ghoulish theme and there were various candies for the kids to eat, such as Blueberry Cremes, Raisin Biscuits, Chocolate Booms, Gummi Jawbreakers, and Maple Crackers. The students all wore crazy costumes that their parents had sent them. Tyler's costume, which Selena had sent to him, is black and red, resembles a prince's royal robes, and looks like a fusion between a monk's robes and a schoolboy's uniform.

That day, Marty and Hayley followed Tyler everywhere and dodged questions from the other students about him. Coco was nowhere to be seen. Alistair also stuck with the group and said nothing. No one spoke very much for that matter. That night at dinner, which was being held in the Great Hall, the kids were just moping for some unknown reason when the mauve-haired Sophia showed up.

Sophia said, "Have any of you seen Coco? I haven't seen her since this afternoon."

"Why no," said Marty. Hayley glared at him.

Tyler was about to say something when Professor Marin ran into the room screaming, "OH MY GOD, THERE'S A TROLL IN THE CASTLE!" He then fainted away.

Everyone immediately freaked out and ran away. Professor Dumbledore waved his wand and yelled "SILENCE! WE WILL LEAVE IN AN ORDERLY FASHION! Prefects, take the students back to their dorms. All teachers must go to the staff room and we'll deal with this "_troll_.""

"Dad, let me come too," said Isabella. "I can fight!"

"No, child," said Professor McGonagall. "You must escort the children back to their dorms."

With the school in a panic and everyone being evacuated, Tyler and Marty found themselves slipping away from their group and heading towards the bathroom. Marty said to him, "You don't think that the troll has anything to do with Halloween, do you, Tyler?"

Tyler said, "No. I know what Halloween has to do with me. The evil magician murdered my parents when I was a baby. I had to live with a family that abuses me. I never even had a chance to go to school, I never even..."

Just then, Tyler fell to the ground and began crying. Marty frowned, knowing that he too had been treated in the same way, espeiclaly by Hillarie, who was cruel and very abusive towards him. But then a scream coming from the bathroom interrupted their moment of grief. "Oh no! Coco's in the bathroom!" Marty screamed.

"Let's rescue her!" Tyler shouted as he and Marty burst into the bathroom. There was Coco, sitting on the floor staring down a huge troll. The troll raised a huge club and swung it at the girl. Tyler rushed into action and lunged at the troll, sticking his wand in the troll's nose.

The troll screamed, snatched the boy, and began bashing his head against the wall. Tyler screamed and tried to fight off the troll, but to no avail. Marty gasped as blood began spilling from Tyler's head and staining the bathroom walls and the floor. Just then, Coco screamed out, "Marty! Remember Professor Flitwick's class! Swish and flick!" Marty waved his wand and suddenly, the troll's club floated in mid-air! Coco waved her wand and the troll's club fell on its head, killing it immediately! It fell to the ground, dragging a half-dead Tyler with it.

"Tyler!" Marty and Coco cried out, rushing to the boy's side. Tyler had multiple bruises and many cuts, both his mouth and nose were bleeding, and several certain body parts were broken. But that was not the worst part. He would not wake up.

"Oh, no! Tyler's dead!" Coco cried. Just then the teachers and Isabella rushed to the bathroom. "Oh my goodness!" cried Dumbledore. "What happened here?" Then looking at Tyler, he said, "My word! Little Tyler Potter is badly hurt! We must get him into the hospital immediately!"

Within a few hours, everyone in Pinecastle was shocked to hear that a mountain troll had attacked Tyler Potter. Hayley was upset that he had left Tyler alone and he spent many hours in the hospital wing. Marty and Coco also worried about Tyler's condition and spent as much time in the hospital wing as possible.

Within a few weeks, it was evident that Tyler would never get any better. He had spent hours drifting in and out of consciousness. Soon, rumors spread throughout the wizarding world that Tyler was dying. Everyone who heard about the news was very upset. Selena found out and wrote an angry letter to Dumbledore, which accused him of allowing Tyler to get hurt. Many other people were angry with Dumbledore for even allowing a troll to walk into the school unchecked. Hayley held Tyler in his arms and cried. "Oh God, Tyler, what have I done? I leave you alone for one second and you get hurt. Please don't leave me! Don't leave me!" Tears came to his eyes as he whispered the three little words that would change both their lives forever: "_I love you_."

Tyler was drifting between life and death. At times, he seemed to live, but recently he was walking towards his death. He thought to himself _well, I had a good life. Not exactly, since the Murteys abused me and never let me live a normal, decent life. I may be just 11 years old; maybe death isn't so bad at all. At least I'll get to see mum and dad again._

Just then, Hayley's words reached him. Tyler suddenly turned around and headed back to the hospital wing, where a crying Hayley Snape was lying on top of him, holding him in his arms. Tyler woke up and saw Hayley crying. "Why are you crying?" Tyler asked him.

"Oh Tyler! You're alive!" Hayley cried, then he kissed him. Tyler gasped, knowing he had never been kissed before in his life, and especially not by a boy at that. Hayley looked up and smiled at Tyler, saying, "I'm so glad you're alive!"

"Hayley, why did you kiss me?" Tyler asked, curiously.

Hayley smiled and said, "I think I love you, Tyler Potter. Ever since the day I first hugged you I knew I loved you. Please, Tyler, I wish to love you."

"Hayley," Tyler smiled, but he couldn't say anything else because Hayley leaned in and kissed him again. After a few nervous moments, Tyler began to kiss back. For a few moments, the boys were lost in their own world, just kissing and smiling happily at each other.

Just then, Marty and Coco rushed into the room, dropping their jaws at the sight of the two boys kissing. "Oh, hello Marty, Coco. It's so good to see you guys again." Sophia and Alistair also came running in. "We thought you were dead," Sophia said as she hugged Tyler. "We're so glad you're OK," said Coco.

Tyler smiled at his friends. In another time and place, some people wouldn't care about him. But this was Pinecastle, and people who cared about Tyler surrounded him. And if that wasn't enough to convince him that he belonged in the Wizarding world, that was it. Tyler knew that he had truly found a home.

* * *

**Claire**: _Harry, how many times must I tell you NO SLASH!_

**Harry**: Seriously, Jacquel. Why can't I just write a story about them?

**Ron**: You're such a fanboy, Harry!

**Hermione**: Not to mention you seem to make a pretty convincing Hayley who likes Tyler!

**Claire**: _Don't encourage him, Hermione! I won't be pairing Tyler with anyone at least until the 3rd book; they're just 11 years old._

**Harry**: All I want is a slash story about Tyler and Hayley.

**Claire**: _Listen up, Harry Potter, and listen good: Tyler and Hayley belong to me! You will NOT write a slash fanfic about them!_

**Ron**: Harry, I think you better listen to her and not make the story a Tyler/Hayley pairing.

**Hermione & Claire**: Who are you and what have you done with Ronald?

**Harry**: Review and vote for a Tyler/Hayley pairing!

Next chapter: **An Unexpected Legacy**.


	11. An Unexpected Legacy

**Claire**: _Well, after that Halloween episode, I'd figure that we need a change of pace. So I'm putting out a smaller chapter._

**Harry**: I still want this to be a _Tyler/Hayley_ pairing!

**Claire**: _Harry, I said no. Now no means NO! _

**Harry**: Why can't you accept the slash?

**Claire**: _Because this is suspossed to be a children's story! Which is beginning now._

* * *

**An Unexpected Legacy**

After the Halloween incident, life in Pinecastle seemed to be a bit duller than usual. Tyler still had a long recovery ahead of him after that troll attacked him during the Halloween party and it looked like he would never walk again.

But he did.

It would take him 4 weeks just to be able to sit up in bed, and then another 5 weeks before he could walk again. Plus, Coco and Marty had received detention for being in the bathroom when the troll had attacked Tyler.

As soon as Tyler had fully recovered, Professor McGonagall said to him, "That was a brave thing you have done, but it was also very foolish. You could have gotten yourself killed."

"I wouldn't have minded being dead," said Tyler. "In fact, anything involving sudden death would have been so much better than me being sent back to the Murteys. And who knew what they would have done to me if they found out that I was in school when I should be at their house being little more than their slave boy?"

"I see," said Professor McGonagall, "and I'm going to have a word with the headmaster about that. No child should have to be a slave to anyone. And who knows if you weren't abused by those monsters in any more ways than one." She stood up and said to Tyler, "And I want to see you in class tomorrow, on time."

That Christmas, Tyler and Marty sat by themselves in the Phoenixhorn Common Room, as Coco, Sophia, and Alistair had gone home for the holidays and the Snape family had gone to visit Hillarie, leaving Hayley behind. The lovesick boy had clung to Tyler since his near-death 9 weeks earlier and wouldn't let him out of his sight.

On Christmas morning, where back at the Murteys Tyler would be lucky to get whatever gifts Edger would reject, Tyler awoke to gifts from Coco, Sophia, and Alistair. Gifts also came from Selena and from the Snape family, but there was one mysterious gift that amazed even Marty and Hayley.

It was an invisibility cloak. It was used to hide people and helped mages spy on their enemies. The last owner of the cloak was of course James Potter. He had often used the cloak to prank his fellow housemates and later, during the magic wars, he used the cloak to spy on his enemies. Tyler was amazed to know that his father has owned such a powerful cloak. He shook it and a note fell out, which said, "_Tyler, I took this from your father the night after he died and kept it hidden for many years. Keep it secret. Do NOT let him find it. ~A well-wisher."_

Hayley and Marty were also amazed. Marty said, "What are you going to do with this cloak?" Tyler said, "I figured I would try it out later on tonight."

"Tonight?" said Hayley.

"It's the holidays," said Tyler. "No one will see us."

That night, after Marty and Hayley went to bed, Tyler slipped on the cloak and walked outside the dorm building, dodging Filch and Professors Snape and Marin (who were fighting) and sneaking past Isabella Dumbledore. He soon found himself in the Room of Requirement. In the room was a huge mirror, the Mirror of Erised. He looked into the mirror and saw his parents. James and Shannon. They were smiling at him. "Mom? Dad?" Tyler cried out, not knowing what to think.

Just then an old man smiled behind him. It was Professor Dumbledore. He said, "Oh there you are, young Tyler. I was beginning to wonder if you would ever recover." Then looking at the mirror, he said, "I see that you have discovered the Mirror of Tnaw . It shows you what you really want. I know you want your parents, don't you?" Tyler nodded.

"But unfortunately, the mirror doesn't show you your future or your face," the old man continued, "and it won't do you any good to sit around and think about what you desire all the time. That is why I am removing the mirror tomorrow and you are never to speak of it to anyone."

He walked Tyler back to his dorm and went off to bed. Hayley saw him and said, "What happened?"

"There was this mirror that shows you what you really want," said Tyler.

"You mean this one," Marty said as he pointed to the mirror, which stood outside the door to the dining room.

"What do you see?" Hayley asked.

Marty looked into the mirror and said, "I see...myself with various relatives."

"Relatives?" Hayley asked.

"Well, I have relatives, but for some reason, none of them are fit to raise me or even be around me," said Marty. "The social people just handed me to the Snape family."

"I see," said Tyler. "But your wish to know your relatives might not be granted."

Hayley looked in the mirror and instead of seeing Tyler (_as he had secretly hoped_), he saw a girl staring back at him. He didn't say anything to Tyler or Marty about what he had seen.

For the next few days, all Tyler could do was sit in the snows and think about his parents. He was sad to know that he would never be able to meet them. Just then, Hayley came over to see him. He said, "I know why you are upset. You miss your parents, don't you?" Tyler nodded. Hayley then continued, "Yeah, I don't get to see my parents much, either. Ever since my sister Hillarie was born, nobody's ever noticed me. Dad's away most of the time and mum's been taking care of Hillarie; and I've been ignored because I'm just good and quiet."

Tyler didn't respond to Hayley's comment; he had nothing to say. Hayley smiled and took Tyler into his arms. Tyler began crying, knowing that he and Hayley were both suffering from dead or missing parents. Soon they found themselves kissing. Before they knew it, Hayley and Tyler were lying in the snow kissing each other wildly.

_Perhaps they were meant to be_, Marty thought to himself as he watched the boys kissing like mad. He frowned and thought back to that Halloween night after the troll had attacked Tyler and Hayley was crying when he heard that Tyler was dying. But Tyler managed to survive the attack, but now he no longer seemed to be the same Tyler Potter that he had once been. Marty knew he had a lot to say to Coco when she returned, but for now, he let Tyler and Hayley enjoy their time together.

* * *

**Claire**: _Harry, what did I say about slash_?

**Harry**: Oh, come on Jacquel. Can't you just make this a slash story? After all, Tyler and Hayley kissed in the last chapter.

**Ron**: Yeah, YOU wrote that part in the story!

**Hermione**: And your Hayley is a bit of a poof since he has a crush on Tyler and all.

**Claire**: _Don't worry about any pairings yet, Hermione! Hayley and Tyler are just 11 years old, and I did say I won't be pairing him with anyone untli at least the 3rd book._

**Harry**: When are you gonna write the 3rd story?

**Claire**: _I haven't even written the 2nd part yet! And let me tell you once again, Harry: Tyler and Hayley belong to me! You will NOT write a slash fanfic about them!_

**Ron**: Give it up, Harry. She's not a huge fan of a Tyler/Hayley pairing.

**Hermione**: Well, why don't you check out the slash stories with us in them.

**Claire**: Yeah, Harry. I bet there's a whole bunch of stories centered on you and Snape!

**Harry**: Like I'd ever hook up with that greasy bastard! Anyway, review and tell Jacquel that you want a Tyler/Hayley pairing!

Next chapter: **Dare to Hope, Dare to Dream.**


	12. Dare to Hope, Dare to Dream

**Claire**: _A New Year has arrived. Well, you know what this means_?

**Harry**: This story's gonna be a Tyler/Hayley pairing?

**Claire**: _No, Harry! I'm not making this a Hayley/Tyler pairing! What is with you and slash_?

**Harry**: C'mon, Jacquel. Can't you just see that this isn't a children's story, not with the way things are going?

**Claire**: _That's enough, Harry! I'm writing this story my way and there's nothing you can do about it_!

* * *

**Dare to Hope, Dare to Dream**

A few days after the Christmas break, Tyler was just sitting in the Phoenixhorn Common Room with Marty, Coco, and Hayley. Sophia and Alistair were also with him. Coco and Alistair were reading while Hayley, Tyler, and Sophia were playing a game of Crazy Eights.

Just then Coco dropped her book and gasped to herself. "I've been such an idiot!" Coco said as she picked up the book and turned to page 666. "There's the Grail of Immortality," she said while pointing to the picture. The large grail was silver with various gemstones embedded all over it. "And what the hell does THAT do?" Sophia gasped as she stared at Coco.

"_The Grail is very dangerous_," Coco read from the book. "_It has the power to make whoever drinks from it immortal. The Grail has also been known to give that drinker unlimited power and strength to subdue all their enemies and conquer the world_."

Marty cut in by saying, "I don't think there's a need to get all worked up over a stupid grail. Anyway, Tyler needs to rest tonight because I hope you haven't forgotten that Tyler has a Spammitch game to play tomorrow."

They all remembered Tyler saying something to them about Isabella giving him a chance to play on the Phoenixhorn Spammitch team a few months ago. Tyler had spent weeks practicing with Lorcan, Stuart Sutcliffe, Mary Elizabeth Braddon, Paul Wesley, Liam Gallagher, Noel Fielding, Julian Lewis, and Richard Cohen in the Spammitch Pitch. His friends were not allowed to watch the practices at all. Tyler was also made to study the history behind the sport as well as learn the positions of the teams.

Isabella had it in her mind that Tyler could play for the team one time, and only once was he allowed to play; she and her mother, along with Madam Hooch and Lorcan had had a huge argument before they all agreed to this deal. But no one else in the school knew about the whole thing.

The next day, scores of students, teachers, and staff crowded the Spammitch stadium for the game. Unicornfeather decided that it would take on Phoenixhorn. But the Phoenixhorns had Tyler Potter and he happened to become the youngest Spammitch player in the history of Pinecastle Academy. At first, everything went well during the game, but then Tyler's new broom began to fly erratically. Tyler hung on and screamed for dear life. At one point, it looked like he was going to fall off.

"He's going to fall!" cried Hagrid. "Don't worry, Tyler! I'll catch you!" And he rushed out onto the field to try and catch the frightened boy. But Sophia had a better idea. She and Alistair ran over to the teachers' stands. There, Professor Snape was trying to mutter a spell designed to save Tyler. Sophia pulled out an apple and threw it. The apple hit Professor Marin in the head and he fell to the ground. Then Tyler climbed back on his broom and he caught the snitch, much to the chagrin of the Unicornfeathers and the joy of the Phoenixhorns.

That night, Phoenixhorn threw a huge party to celebrate their victory over Unicornfeather. And as everyone seemed to enjoy themselves, Tyler noticed that Hayley wasn't happy. He frowned as everyone else had surrounded Tyler, clapping him on the back and saying that he was a very lucky boy. Hayley knew that Tyler had been more than lucky to be alive, for he had survived a troll attack, years of abuse from the Murteys, and even being attacked by the evil Magician when he was a baby.

During the party, Hayley slipped away and went to a field, which was behind the Spammitch pitch. He was quite upset at all that had gone down during the game. He was also upset that Tyler had walked away from the game without so much as a single injury. _That had been me at one point_, Hayley thought to himself as he watched the party. _It was me! But I was such a mean and greedy egoistical jerk who cared nothing about the thoughts or feelings of others, just myself. I used to be great, but no more. _

He was no more; not since he had messed everything up and he now had to watch as one boy became the future hero he had refused to become. Then came the matter of the rather warped world that he lived in, a world that does not know anything about it's cruel past, nor does it have any memories from the past that it could dwell on.

In his mind's eye, behind the stadium, there laid a field of graves. The tombstones contain the names of those who died in that final battle against Lord Voldemort: _Stacey Snape. Jacquelyn Claire Lupin. Aslan Griswold Snape_. They were some of Hayley's friends, all who were slain by the Dark Lord's Death Eaters.

Tears fell down Hayley's eyes as he looked at those names and remembered his friends who died. But the saddest part was when he saw a huge tombstone containing the name _Harry James Potter. July 31, 1980-June 29, 1998. "A faithful friend and a brave wizard, but he sadly left us at the height of his glory." _

At the reading of those words, Hayley began to cry. He had no idea that HE had been Harry Potter in another life and now Harry was dead.

(author's note: _this story takes place in an alternate reality, one where the events of Deathly Hallows have occured nearly 25 years ago and everyone involved in the story was killed in the Battle of Hogwarts. And when Harry wished that he wasn't Harry Potter anymore, he ultimately destroyed the Harry Potter universe and turned it into a rather warped reality of the wizarding world_.)

Tyler approached Hayley and said, "What are you looking at?" Hayley didn't respond, as he kept the vision of the graveyard in his head. He said to Tyler, "I see a future that is written in blood, and yet I see hope that the wizarding world will become a better place."

Tyler then said, "And if that is to be so, then how will we be living in this new future?"

Hayley sighed. Tyler smiled and threw his arms around him. Before they knew it, Hayley leaned in and kissed Tyler. Soon, both boys were lying on the ground, kissing each other fiercely. There was no need for them to say those certain 3 little words for them to prove their love. They just needed to live them.

* * *

**Claire**: _Why is it that every time I tell you _no slash _you don't listen to me_?

**Harry**: Seriously, Jacquel! Can't you just get it through your thick head that this is going to be a slash story?

**Ron**: You're pathetic, Harry! Jacquel doesn't even like slash!

**Harry**: Can't you guys please just handle the slash? (_just then Hermione tackles him to the ground and pulls a bunch of papers out of his pockets_)

**Hermione**: Well, what have we here? A bunch of stories centering on Dumbledore and Grindelwald? Dumbledore really _is_ gay!

**Claire**: _I knew it! Dumbledore DID have a thing for Grindelwald! And that's why the wizarding war beagn in the first place_!

**Ron**: Now I understand why Joanne said that Dumbledore was gay!

**Harry**: Well, I didn't see that coming. Anyway, can we get back to hooking Hayley up with Tyler?

**Claire**: _No! Could you just please give it a rest? I'm not hooking Hayley and Tyler up! I'm trying to write a children's story here_!

**Ron**: Give it up, Harry. She's not a huge fan of a Tyler/Hayley pairing.

**Hermione**: Well, next time this happens, we'll set Harry up with Voldemort!

**Claire**: _Be careful, Harry. I bet there's a whole bunch of stories centered on you and Voldemort_!

**Harry**: Like I'd ever hook up with that monster! Anyway, review and tell Jacquel that you want a Tyler/Hayley pairing!

Next chapter: **Rumors About a Villain**.


	13. Rumors About a Villain

**Claire**: _And now we go on to when villains decide to show up_.

**Harry**: Now can we have some slash?

**Claire**: _I don't think so_.

**Harry**: Tell me that after all the slash that's taking place that this is still a children's story.

**Claire**: _Shut up, Harry_.

* * *

**Rumors About a Villain**

A few weeks had passed since Tyler's Spammitch game and Hayley's amazing revelation. And ever since their first kiss on Halloween, Hayley realized that he could be falling in love with Tyler. But rumors began swirling around the Wizarding world that the Magician wasn't as dead as everyone had believed.

Rumors had been circulating around the wizarding world about people who had claimed to see the Magician attempting to return to life after his defeat by Tyler Potter. Many claimed that the Magician was planning to wreak havoc on the community and others claimed that he was planning the demise of Tyler Potter. No one knew that the Magician was planning to do far worse…

One day, during Professor Peusar's class, Tyler fell asleep with dreams of the Magician chasing him. Each dream had consisted of him alone in a dark room and the evil mage attacking him. No matter what he did, Tyler could not escape from the Magician. Tyler woke up screaming his head off.

"Wake up, Tyler!" a voice called to him. Tyler opened his eyes and saw Galadriel Black staring at him. She was not very hapy to see him at all. "You were asleep in class, and that's not very smart," she snapped at him. "And besides, you've missed today's lesson on the Blackening Era of Twilight."

"I what?" Tyler cried out.

"If you were paying attention in class like everyone else, you would have known that we were studying the life story of the Lost Magician," said Gala.

"His name was Airndon Casor," Coco said.

Ignoring her, Gala said to Tyler, "The Lost Magician was said to be a very old man, who dwells in the sky, seeking a lost artifact of power." She handed him her notes and said, "These are the notes I was taking during today's class. Study them. Learn them. And if you have any other plans for the evening that have nothing to do with your education, I would suggest that you abandon them immediately." Coco glared at her and Gala said, "What? I'm not letting the most powerful mage in the world fail his classes at all. If you were wise, you would listen to me." She then walked out of the room in a huff.

"She is one strange girl," Marty said as the kids were walking to their next class, which was Magical Philosophy with Professor Lolero. "What is she thinking to tell Tyler what he can or cannot do?"

Coco said, "Well, we do have plans that aren't dealing with our education; I've been hearing rumors that the Magician didn't really die when Shannon Potter tried to kill him, that he could be trying to come back and wreak havoc upon our world."

"And if we don't stop him, then we may not have a school to attend anymore," said Tyler. He turned his direction towards the Forbidden Forest and said, "There's something in there. It doesn't look right and I think we need to check it out."

Marty and Coco nodded. As far as they knew, something wasn't right with Tyler at all, not with everything that had been happening to him since they first went to Pinecastle, from the Halloween troll attack to Tyler's malfunctioning broom and even Tyler's own dreams that the Magician was trying to kill him. "All right," said Coco. "We leave at night."

The same night, Tyler, Coco, and Marty snuck out of bed and walk in the Forbidden Forest. Hayley and Alistair were with them. No one saw them and the five of them walked carefully until they reached a clearing in the forest. There, Hayley saw even more graves in the field. Tyler clamped a hand on Hayley's shoulder and said, "Everything's going to be OK, Hayley. Why are you so worried?"

Just then, Alistair screamed. "What is it now, you big scaredy-cat?" Coco snapped as she looked at him. The boys all turned and gasped at what Alistair and Coco was looking at. There was a dead unicorn lying on the ground. Tyler felt sad for the dead unicorn. But the next moment filled him with pure horror as a strange creature began drinking its blood.

"Oh that's just gross!" Marty whispered behind him.

"What?" asked Tyler.

"You know it's bad to kill a unicorn, right?" Hayley whispered. Tyler nodded.

"Long ago, mundies and wizards alike revered unicorns," said Coco. "They revered them so much that they made it a crime to kill a unicorn. But what this person is doing is beyond wrong. In fact, if you drink unicorn's blood, you are cursed."

Just then, the creature noticed them and came towards them. All five kids screamed and fled from the very spot. Hagrid overheard them and came. The creature saw him and ran away. Hagrid said to them, "Now what were you children doing outside at this time of night?" Then noticing the unicorn, he said, "Someone had killed a unicorn and drank its blood! The headmaster must be informed of this immediately!" And he escorted the children back to Phoenixhorn Tower.

It took Tyler a long time to get over what he had just seen. He, Coco, and the other boys found themselves sitting in the Phoenixhorn common room, all trying to recover from what they had just seen. Coco said, "I had never seen such cowardice in such boys as yourselves. Boys are supposed to be brave, you know."

Marty said, "You think we aren't allowed to be afraid? That's the craziest thing I've ever heard of! I have never been more afraid back there than at any point in my life. And I think I'd like to know what that creature was."

Coco replied in turn. "Thank you very much, Martin, Tyler, Hayley. Now, if you three don't mind, I'm going to bed right now before either of you come up with another plan to get us all killed…or worse, expelled!" She then stormed off.

"She really needs to sort out her priorities," Marty frowned.

"Good night!" Alistair called out.

After Marty and Alistair went to bed, Tyler said to Hayley, "Do you think the Magician has returned?"

"Perhaps," said Hayley. "Maybe that's why the unicorn died and the creature drank its blood. The Magician liked these kinds of evil. But don't worry too much, Tyler. He won't be coming here for a while yet."

Tyler sighed, taking a bit of comfort in the fact that he was still safe. Hayley smiled and hugged Tyler. Both boys fell asleep on the couch, not knowing that their love for each other was about to take them on a dangerous path…

* * *

**Claire**: _Ok, here we go again with the slash, Harry! You never seem to listen to me when I say _**no slash**!

**Harry**: But Jacquel, I like slash stories! They're so much fun!

**Ron**: Be careful Harry! You know there's a website called www. fanfiction. net.

**Harry**: And...

**Hermione**: And on the site, there's over a million stories pairing you up with every guy in the world.

**Claire**: _Yeah, like Malfoy_.

**Ron**: Why would they like to hook Harry up with that annoying little ferret?

**Draco**: I heard that!

**Harry**: Why would I hook up with him anyway? Can we please have some slash in this story?

**Claire**: _You've already put enough slash in this story_!

**Ron**: Yeah, Harry. And you also botched up Jacquel's chances to write a children's story!

**Hermione**: And since you have done that, we're gonna write our own story, which sets _you_ up with Professor Snape!

**Claire**: _That's right, Harry! You and Snape are gonna hook up and all our readers are gonna laugh at you_!

**Harry**: Why would you ever hook me up with that greasy bat? Anyway, review and tell Jacquel that you want a Tyler/Hayley pairing!

(_when Harry isn't looking or listening_)

**Hermione**: "_Now, if you three don't mind, I'm going to bed right now before either of you come up with another plan to get us all killed...or worse, expelled_." Great job with that line, Jacquel. Where did you get it from?

**Claire**: You.

**Ron**: Figures.

**Hermione**: Well, if this is a rather warped world that we're watching, then I am Coco, Ron is Marty, and Jacquel is Sophia.

**Marty**: Hey! What about me?

**Claire**, **Ron**, & **Hermione**: You're not even in this story, Marty! So, butt out! (_Marty frowns as he leaves. Malfoy shows up_.)

**Draco**: Wow, you sure showed him.

**Claire**: _Yeah. We just can't have Marty botching up the story_.

**Ron**: We already had Harry wreck this story with his "_slash_".

**Hermione**: Hopefully, the next chapter better not have slash in it or so help me God...

**Claire**: _All right people, you heard the man! Review and tell me how you like it or else I'll set the Magician on you_!

Next chapter: **The Grail of Immortality**


	14. The Grail of Immortality

**Claire**: _At this point, we'd like to talk about the Grail of Immortality_.

**Harry**: Forget about the _Grail of Immortality_, can we drink from the _Grail of Slash_?

**Claire**: (_slaps Harry_)

**Harry**: Oh come on, Jacquel! You know there's no slash allowed in a children's story, and yet there's slash in this one.

**Claire**: (_slaps Harry again_)

**Harry**: Ow! That hurts!

**

* * *

**

The Grail of Immortality

Right after that incident in the Forbidden Forest, Tyler realized that he had to know more about the Magician and the Grail of Immortality. Hayley, however, was worried about Tyler. The poor boy wasn't anything like his normal self since the incident with the mysterious creature and he wasn't very happy to know who that might have been.

Tyler began to have more nightmares after the incident, nightmares that were so powerful that he found himself unable to sleep at all. In fact, he began to have waking dreams, especially in class. But whenever anyone tried to talk to him about it, he always shrugged them off and walked away.

One day in class, the kids were gathered in a corner of the room while Coco read them the page that she had discovered the Grail's existence. "_Dumbledore and his friend Nicholas Flamel had secretly hidden the Grail somewhere in the school_," Coco read from the book, "_but its location has been hidden from everyone. Not even the teachers know where the Grail is_."

"Yeah, but what if someone else knew about the Grail?" Sophia cried out. "They could be looking for it as we speak!" They all looked at Professor Marin, who was apparently being yelled at by Professor Snape for yet another scheme. "Looks like those two are going at it again," said Alistair.

"I wonder why," said Marty.

"And it's not about my dad wanting the job," said Hayley. "What do you think, Tyler?"

Tyler was overhearing the conversation between the two professors: "Look, Martinius, I'm not stupid. I know you've been after that Grail for some time." Snape yelled.

"Severus Snape, you are quick to jump to conclusions," said Marin. "I'd never even harm that precious little cup."

"That's what you want us to think," Snape snapped. "But I'm not as foolish as Hagrid is to trust you."

"You know about that?" Marin gasped.

"Someone got him drunk at that party last week and made him tell them where the Grail can be found," Snape said, "and I'm going to report that to the Headmaster."

Tyler had overheard enough. He rushed back to the group, crying out, "Professor Marin wants to steal the Grail of Immortality!"

"WHAT?" Everyone cried out.

"It's true!" Tyler cried out. "Professor Marin got Hagrid drunk and made Hagrid tell him where the Grail is hidden!"

"I don't believe this!" Hayley said sadly. "I thought he was a good guy."

"You don't really know someone until you find out about his many sins," said Sophia.

"What are we to do now?" said Coco. "I mean, now that we know about the grail and who's trying to steal it…"

"But we don't know where it's hidden, even though it's here," said Marty.

"Maybe we can find it, and stop Professor Marin from stealing it," said Tyler.

"But how are we going to do that?" Hayley asked.

For the rest of the day, Tyler's mind was filled with all kinds of plots to get the Grail or stop Professor Marin. He couldn't concentrate his mind on anything else, not even on his homework. That night, he skipped dinner and went to the Restricted Section of the Pinecastle Library. There was something else he needed to find out.

Very soon, Hayley joined him. He said, "Tyler, you missed dinner tonight. Why?"

Tyler said, "I just had to think about something."

"Like what?" said Hayley.

"The incident with the troll on Halloween, my new broom, and the monster that killed a unicorn. All of this may have something to do with Professor Marin. I'm beginning to think that it might have something to do with the Magician as well," said Tyler.

"I see," said Hayley. "And since when have you ever been worried about the Magician? He's dead. He can't bother us anymore."

"But I wonder if he really is dead," said Tyler. "And if he's not dead, then he could be here, haunting the school as we speak."

Hayley threw his arms around Tyler and hugged him. "You don't have to worry about a thing, Tyler Potter," he said. "Your friends are with you, and so am I. You're safe here."

"Hayley," Tyler began, but he laid his head on his friend's shoulder and began crying. "Why do all the bad things have to happen to me?" he cried. "Why can't I have something good happen to me every once in a while?" Hayley responded by kissing Tyler gently; then both boys began kissing furiously. After a while, Hayley said, "You've had some good things happen to you."

"Like what?" Tyler gasped.

"You came here to Pinecastle and made some new friends," said Hayley. Then after a moment of silence, he said, "I used to watch over you, Tyler. I watched over you when my mother was forbidden to. I saw you and I felt sorry for you. I wanted to take you away from those awful people. But Dumbledore forbade it; he wanted us to devote ourselves solely to Hillarie. But my mother and I would have none of that. So my father and I conspired to have Hillarie put up in an institution someplace and mom covered it up by saying that she was going to a special boarding school."

"But what of the summer?" Tyler asked. "You do know I'll have to return to the Murteys."

"Of course," said Hayley. "But that doesn't mean we can't see each other." Then after a few moments, he said, "We need to be getting to bed."

The boys left the library and went to their dorms. After a few terse moments, Tyler squeezed into Hayley's bed. Hayley was already asleep. Angel the dog barked as she looked at Tyler. He said, "Well, Angel, looks like it's up to us to stop whoever's trying to steal the Grail." He then looked at Hayley and smiled. He had never experienced love, and yet there was someone who truly loved him. Tyler then fell asleep, not knowing that his plans would put him into ever-increasing danger…

**

* * *

**

Claire: _Harry Potter, what is with you lately_?

**Harry**: The fact that I like to read slash stories.

**Ron**: He's hopeless, Jacquel.

**Harry**: Am not!

**Hermione**: Are too! And besides, you like to make out with Fred and George.

**Claire**: _Don't deny it, Harry_.

**Ron**: What's this? Harry likes to make out with my brothers? Oh, icky!

**Ginny**: Double icky!

**Harry**: Why would I hook up with your brothers?

**Claire**: _Because you've already put enough slash in MY story_!

**Ron**: Yeah, Harry. And you also botched up Jacquel's chances to write a children's story!

**Hermione**: And since you have done that, we're gonna write our own story, which sets _you_ up with Professor Snape!

**Claire**: _That's right, Harry! You and Snape are gonna hook up and all our readers are gonna laugh at you_!

**Ginny**: Ewwwwwwwww!

**Harry**: Why would you ever hook me up with that greasy bat? Anyway, review and tell Jacquel that you want a Tyler/Hayley pairing!

Next chapter: **Sophia's Unmentionable Secret**.


	15. Sophia's Unmentionable Secret

**Claire**: (_reading one of the reviews of this story_) _Harry Potter, what the hell is this?_

**Harry**: It's just a review, Jacquel.

**Claire**: _And what does that review say_?

**Harry**: Jacquel, now you know that everyone wants this story to have slash in it!

**Claire**: (_slaps Harry_) _Read the review, you stupid boy_!

**Harry**: Fine! (_reads review_) **I want a TYLER slash HAYLEY pairing**!

**Claire**: _That's right, Harry! Somebody wrote to me saying that they wanted a Tyler/Hayley pairing! Now why did they do that_? (_reads_ _the rest of the review_) **Just doing what the famous old Harry Potter says to do**!

**Harry**: But Jacquel, you never seem to write slash and here's someone wants you to write a slash story.

**Claire**: (_slaps Harry again_) _You stupid boy! Don't you know that this is a children's story_?

**

* * *

**

**Sophia's Unmentionable Secret, or another story that's so similar that it's not even funny**

And now we shall take a moment to explore the life and times of Sophia Mueller. She's supposed to be Jacquel Romanov in an alternative reality, and yet, she's not rich or living with a philandering older cousin. Instead, she's poor, living in an orphanage, and she wasn't allowed to attend school until Pinecastle came calling.

When Sophia was 2 years old, her mother, Rowena, was found brutally murdered in their living room in their apartment on Fleet Street in London. Because Sophia had no other living relatives, she was placed in the London Children's Home, which was located just outside of London. The place was run by the cruel headmaster Wilburn Benson and the place had been investigated several times for evidence of child abuse, but since there was no evidence of any abuse, the orphanage was allowed to function.

But there was evidence of abuse in the orphanage, and there were no shortage of people who reported witnessing the adults who worked there doing all kinds of terrible things to the children who, for whatever reasons, were forced into the orphanage. Sophia had often been the choice victim for the abusers since she had no relatives who were alive and could adopt her, and also, she tended to protect other children who were disabled from abuse. Despite the abuses she suffered, Sophia never stopped hoping for the day someone would come and rescue her from that terrible place.

And when Sophia turned 11, the Headmaster said to Hagrid (who had come to the orphanage looking for magical children who had been placed there), "Just take her, she's as worthless as a used tea set." Sophia was more than happy to leave; she hated living in the orphanage. She was taken to Greycliff Crossing, where she dyed her blond hair purple and brought dark clothes to lose her former identity, and stayed in a room above a bookstore.

Within a few weeks, the orphanage was shut down for good and the headmaster and the staff was arrested for multiple counts of child abuse. Scores of children who were living at the orphanage were sent to the hospital to be treated for various injuries that resulted from the abuse. By that time, Sophia had received her Pinecastle letter and had to buy robes, a wand, books, and supplies. Then she had gone to the train station and took the first car she walked into. There, Sophia had befriended Alistair Johnson, whose parents were tortured to insanity by the Magician many years before.

When the train reached Pinecastle, Sophia noticed the cruel Malcolm Dratzins making fun of Tyler Potter. She grew mad and told Malcolm off; she had defended many of the younger children against the abuses that had happened at the orphanage and she was horrifically abused as well. Well, Sophia was nothing short of heartbroken when she learned that Tyler was living in an abusive foster family and she did whatever she could to help him deal with the aftereffects of the abuse.

But Sophia was keeping a secret of her own; one that could destroy the wizarding world. She couldn't reveal what it was for that matter.

She also had taken most of the abuse from the Headmaster's cruel hands and was made a slave. But that wasn't the worst of it. When she was 10 years old, Sophia had escaped from the orphanage and was found a week later. For that she was brutally beaten until she nearly died.

Most children who are abused would often shut themselves away from others and cry and wish they were dead, but Sophia did not. She grew bolder and stronger than most children and when her 11th birthday came and Hagrid showed up, she bolted without a moment's hesitation. She later met Tyler and here's where the story begins.

One day, Sophia saw Tyler wandering around the school with a huge frown on his face and approached him. She had another unmentionable secret, one that could easily destroy her life as well as Tyler's. She said, "Tyler, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Why?" Tyler asked.

"I don't know," said Sophia. "I have a feeling I know more about the grail than I let on."

"Meaning…" Tyler questioned.

"My family had possessed the grail for many years," said Sophia, "and I should have been the next owner, if I wasn't taken to that hellhole of an orphanage."

"Your family had the grail!" Hayley cried out. He had been listening to them the whole time.

"But I didn't know about it before Coco read to us about it and now the Magician wants to steal it from me," said Sophia. "Whatever shall we do?"

"Leave it to me," Hayley said. "I've got a plan."

TBC...

**

* * *

**

**Claire**: _Thankfully, no slash in this chapter_.

**Harry**: I won't promise the next chapter won't have slash in it.

**Ron**: He's hopeless, Jacquel. He's just addicted to slash.

**Harry**: Am not!

**Hermione**: Are too! And besides, you have like a majorly huge crush on Draco Malfoy.

**Harry**: No, I don't!

**Claire**: _Don't deny it, Harry_.

**Ron**: What's this? Harry likes to make out with the little ferret? Oh, that's just wrong!

**Neville**: Double wrong!

**Harry**: Why would I hook up with Malfoy?

**Claire**: _You've already destroyed MY story by putting slash in it_!

**Ron**: Yeah, Harry. And it's no longer a children's story, thanks to you!

**Hermione**: And because you have destroyed Jacquel's story, we're gonna set _you_ up with _Lucius_ Malfoy!

**Claire**: _That's right, Harry! You and Lucius are gonna hook up and all our readers are gonna get grossed out_!

**Neville**: Oh ewww, that's so disturbing!

**Harry**: Why would you ever hook me up with that blonde bastard? He works for Voldemort, you know! Anyway, review and tell Jacquel that you want a Tyler/Hayley pairing!

Next chapter: **Hayley's Plan of Attack**.


	16. Hayley's Plan of Attack

**Claire**: _Hello, Dudley. Guess what your cousin likes?_

**Dudley**: What does he like Jacquel?

**Claire**: _Harry likes slash stories!_

**Harry**: No I don't!

**Claire**: _Yes you do, Harry! Even the Dursleys know it_!

**Petunia**: Harry likes slash? This breaks my heart. (_she cries_)

**Vernon**: (_slaps Harry_) You stupid boy, you made your aunt cry!

**Harry**: You people never even cared about me anyway! So there!

**Claire**: _Harry, that's not very nice! _

**Harry**: So what? I hate those stupid bastards and I'm giving them what they deserve!

**Dudley**: Yay for slash stories!

**Claire**: _You're so messed up, Dudley._

**

* * *

**

Hayley's Plan of Attack

**((WARNING: OFF-SCREEN MAKE OUT SCENE DEAD AHEAD! READ WITH EXTREME CAUTION!))**

where we last left off:

_"Your family had the grail!" Hayley cried out. He had been listening to them the whole time._

_"But I didn't know about it before Coco read to us about it and now the Magician wants to steal it from me," said Sophia. "Whatever shall we do?"_

_"Leave it to me," Hayley said. "I've got a plan."_

The next day, during class, Hayley had gathered Tyler, Sophia, Marty, and Coco and they rushed to Hagrid's house. The giant sat at his front door and stared at the children. "Hagrid!" cried Tyler. "We know about the Grail of Immortality!"

"You do?" said the giant. "Well, come in quickly, lest someone unwanted wishes to overhear us!" He led the children into his house and made them tea. Sophia said, "The grail was once in my family, but I knew nothing of it until Coco mentioned it."

"You mean to tell me that the Grail of Immortality was in your family and you knew nothing about it?" Hagrid cried.

"Well, I think someone's trying to steal the grail," said Hayley.

"It must be hidden somewhere in the school," said Coco.

"But where?" Sophia asked. Then she said, "Hagrid, did you reveal the location of the grail while you were drunk?"

"What?" cried the giant.

"Because Professor Marin knows," said Tyler, "and we've got to stop him from stealing the grail!"

Hagrid fainted dead away after hearing those words. He should have known that Marin wanted to steal the grail. The kids quickly ran into the school, desperate to tell someone about the grail. None of the teachers believed them; Filch accused them of lying, and even the portraits laughed at them.

"We have to do something!" cried Marty.

"Who can help us?" cried Hayley.

"I think your dad can," said Coco.

And so they ran to Professor Snape's office, intending to tell him about the grail, but Isabella Dumbledore stood in their way. She said, "What is going on here, children? You're all running around like chickens who had recently been beheaded."

"But someone's trying to steal the grail," said Tyler. "You have to help us stop them."

Isabella frowned as she stared at the children. "Are any of you mentally retarded?" she snapped. "What are you talking about? What is this grail that you speak of?" The children were so shocked at Isabella's hurtful words that they couldn't say anything. "I will tell you know I will not allow any nonsense in this school. Do you understand?"

She sent them to their dorms and walked away. Alistair saw them and started crying. "I saw the whole thing!" he cried out. "Isabella Dumbledore is a stuck-up little bitch who thinks she's better than everyone else just because her parents work at Pinecastle. Don't listen to her."

"Oh, don't worry about that," said Hayley. "I've got another idea." The others all wondered what Hayley's new plan could be. He finally said, "We have tried to tell everyone in the school that Professor Marin is trying to steal the grail, but no one would believe us."

"And we would have told someone who would have at least listened to us if a certain Isabella didn't intervene," said Coco.

"And now we're on our own," said Hayley, "and if no one's going to help us stop Marin from stealing the grail, we'll have to stop him ourselves!"

The others gasped with fright at this testimony. But Hayley Snape was right; they had to save the grail. "We start tonight," said Tyler.

After everyone went to bed (it was only 4 in the afternoon), Tyler went to Hayley's dorm and sat there, wondering to himself if he was doing the right thing. Hayley came to him and said, "Tyler, I realize that we're about to do something very dangerous and we might not make it, but I have something that I just want to tell you."

"And what is that?" said Tyler curiously.

"I love you, Tyler Potter," said Hayley. "I loved you when I first met you. I was upset when I thought you had died. I realize now that this love would drive me to do something outrageous, and I want to share that with you."

Tyler smiled. He knew that Hayley Snape had been in love with him before, but now he realized that it was for real. He said, "Hayley, if there's any chance that I would take on love, I'd take that chance with you. I love you, Hayley Snape. I truly do."

Hayley threw his arms around Tyler and kissed him. Then the boys lay on Hayley's bed, kissing each other as fiercely as they dare. For a very long time, the world didn't exist; it was just Tyler and Hayley in a world of bliss. But it couldn't last; not as far as the grail was concerned. Night had fallen and now it was time to get the grail or die.

Hayley and Tyler woke up and got dressed. They then walked into the common room and saw Marty, Coco, and Sophia all dressed up. Without a word, Tyler opened the door and they all walked into a dark corridor.

* * *

**Claire**: (_big sigh_) _I wish you didn't put slash into this chapter, Harry_.

**Harry**: I told you that I wouldn't promise this chapter won't have slash in it.

**Ron**: Forget him, Jacquel. He's just a slash addict.

**Harry**: Am not!

**Hermione**: Are too! And besides, there are like 1,000 stories pairing you up with Sirius Black.

**Harry**: No, I don't hook up with Sirius! He's my godfather!

**Claire**: _Yeah right, Harry. That's what you want them to think. But these fangirls know better._

**Ron**: What? Harry likes to make out with Sirius?

**Neville**: That's just wrong!

**Harry**: Seriously, guys, why the hell would I hook up with Sirius?

**Claire**: _Because you destroyed MY story by putting slash in it_!

**Ron**: Yeah, Harry. And thanks to you, it's now rated PG!

**Hermione**: And because you have destroyed Jacquel's story, we're gonna set _you_ up with Sirius Black!

**Harry**: No, no, no! Please don't do it!

**Claire**: _Sorry, Harry, but you and Sirius are gonna hook up and all our readers are gonna flip_!

**Neville**: Oh ewww, that's so yucky!

**Harry**: Why would you ever hook me up with Sirius? You know he's my godfather! Anyway, review and tell Jacquel that you want a Tyler/Hayley pairing!

Next chapter: **Going In**.


	17. Going In

**Claire**: _And now Tyler, Hayley, Marty, Coco, and Sophia go into the belly of the beast.  
_

**Harry**: Is there any slash in this chapter?

**Claire**: _No, Harry, there is no slash in this chapter. Only action._

**Harry**: WHAT? Awwww, no fair, Jacquel!

**Claire**: _Sorry, Harry, but it's time to put the violence in this story.  
_

**Harry**: Violence is sooo lame! I want some romance!

**Claire**: _Sometimes in life, love is a battlefield.  
_

* * *

**Going In**

where we last left off:

_Hayley and Tyler woke up and got dressed. They then walked into the common room and saw Marty, Coco, and Sophia all dressed up. Without a word, Tyler opened the door and they all walked into a dark corridor._

The kids walked down the forbidden corridor for a very long time. No one spoke to each other; they all just kept going, never stopping to think. Marty worried about being caught. Coco wondered if she was doing the right thing by going along with Hayley's plans. Sophia began to question the validity of her family's legacy. Hayley was wondering if his plans were going to work.

As for Tyler, however, he found himself questioning everything he thought he knew about himself. Although many mages had referred to him as the Boy-Who-Conquered-the-Magician, Tyler knew that he was no hero. Not if he had to withstand nearly 8 years of abuse and had 2 near-death experiences to boot.

And on top of that, he was an orphan.

_Orphans are not heroes_, he thought to himself. _In fact, orphans are nothing more than troublemakers bent on ringing an already unhappy world_. Why would anyone want to pin their hopes and dreams on someone who had no parents to begin with?

He then thought of Sophia and her story of how she grew up in that brutal orphanage and how she had been treated while she was living there. The fact that a girl like her was abused in all sorts of horrible ways and no one stopped to help her angered him and it threw a new resolve in him: _the Magician was responsible for the abuse that Tyler and Sophia had experienced, and for that, he had to be defeated. _

Within less than half an hour, they had reached a room. It was the 3rd Room Corridor. The room they had been explicitly forbidden to go into. Marty said, "It's like we're going into the belly of the beast."

"Literally," Sophia agreed.

But little did they know that Alistair Johnson had been following them the whole time; he wasn't about to let his friends slip away so easily. "You guys can't go into the corridor! Dumbledore said so." He cried out as soon as he saw them.

"But we have to save the grail," said Hayley. "If we don't, then the Magician will get it and use it to take over the world and no one will be able to stand up to him."

"You can't," Alistair cried out again. "I'll…I'll stop you!" He pulled out his wand and pointed it at them.

"Sorry, Alistair," said Coco. "We can't just have you running off and telling Isabella, or can we?" And with a flick of her wand, Alistair was lying on his back.

"Oh my God, you killed him!" Marty cried out.

"No I didn't," cried Coco. "All I did was put a body bind charm on him. Now let's go."

And as they all left Alistair and walked into the corridor, Tyler had an eerie feeling that they were indeed going into the belly of the beast. Hayley grabbed his hand and said, "Whatever happens, Tyler Potter, I will always be with you." Tyler nodded, knowing that Hayley Snape would be there for him if no one else would help him.

Together, they all walked into the 3rd Room Corridor, not knowing that Tyler was about to be in the battle for his life…

(Claire's note: _Sorry this chapter is so short, but I wanted to take Tyler's trip into the 3rd Room Corridor and break it into 3 parts instead of one huge chapter so it can be written faster, I'll have more control of the story, and to keep you all wanting more! Stay tuned for the next part of the final chapter_!)

* * *

**Claire**: _And so it finally begins_.

**Harry**: Uggghhhh, I wish there was no violence in this story. What about the slash?

**Ron**: Didn't you just put a whole bunch of slash in the last chapter already?

**Harry**: Yeah?

**Hermione**: You're just wrong, Harry! And there are over 2,000 stories pairing you up with Remus Lupin.

**Harry**: No, I can't hook up with Lupin! He's like my second godfather!

**Claire**: _That's what you want them to think, Harry. But these fangirls know better._

**Ron**: What? Harry likes to make out with Lupin?

**Neville**: That's just creepy! And Lupin's a werewolf!

**Harry**: Seriously, guys, why the hell would I hook up with Lupin?

**Claire**: _Hello, you destroyed MY story by putting slash in it_!

**Ron**: Yeah, Harry. And thanks to you, it's now rated PG!

**Hermione**: And because you have destroyed Jacquel's story, we're setting _you_ up with Remus Lupin!

**Harry**: No, no, no! Please don't do it! Tonks won't go for it!

**Claire**: _Sorry, Harry, but you and Lupin are gonna hook up and all our readers are gonna howl with laughter_!

**Neville**: Oh ewww, that's so disturbing!

**Harry**: Why would you ever hook me up with Lupin? That's not right! Anyway, review and tell Jacquel that you want a Tyler/Hayley pairing!

Next chapter: **The Final Move**.


	18. The Final Move

**Claire**: _Now that Tyler, Hayley, Marty, Coco, and Sophia are inside the belly of the beast, there will be lots of action._

**Harry**: Is there any slash in this chapter then?

**Claire**: _No, Harry, we have no slash in this chapter. Only action._

**Harry**: WHAT? Awwww, no fair, Jacquel!

**Claire**: _Sorry, Harry, but it's time to put the violence in this story._

**Harry**: Violence is sooo lame! I want some romance!

**Claire**: _Yeah, about that. Someone else wants to see some slash._

**Harry**: YAY! Team Slash rules!

**Claire**: _Let me read you this person's comment_: **I WANT A TYLER/HAYLEY PAIRING! There, Harry. Happy now?**

**Harry**: Heck yeah!

**Claire**: _Oh God_!

**Harry**: To the person who wrote that comment, THANK YOU!

* * *

**The Final Move**

Once they were inside the corridor, Tyler said, "Now which way do we go?" For there were three different paths in the corridor and they were all shimmering.

"Let me see," said Coco. She took a good look at the three paths for a long time. Then she said, "The path on the left points back to our tower where we'll have to start all over again, and the path on the right leads straight to Isabella's room, where I'm sure we don't want to end up at. So I say we take the middle path, which is a good idea because that will take us to our goal."

"You always gotta be so smart, Coco," Marty frowned, but they all followed the middle path anyway. The path was very dangerous, with many sharp and jagged rocks in the path. Many times, someone would trip over the rocks and get hurt. But that wouldn't be the last time Tyler and his friends would get themseves into danger...

Galadriel Black woke up in the dorm room that she shared with Sophia and discovered that her roommate was missing. Thiking quickly, she reached for her robe and slippers and walked out of Phoenixhorn Tower. After a few minutes of wwandering around the school, she had found Alistair lying by the door to the 3rd Room Corridor. She said, "What on earth happened to you?"

Isabella heard them and showed up. "What the bloody hell are you two doing out of bed at this ungodly hour?" she snapped.

"Tyler and his friends are trying to stop someone from stealing the grail," said Gala.

"I see," said Isabella. "I'm going to tell my father about this. Come with me, you two." And she took them and headed straight to Dumbledore's office.

At the same time, Tyler and the others had reached the end of the path and were facing a door. the door had a very hard riddle on it. The riddle was: "_He cannot be seen or heard, yet he is everywhere. He brings fear to all those who who are his enemies. He will rule the world with an iron fist, kill those he hates, and end all mundane existance_."

Tyler wasn't very good with riddles; he usually give up after two minutes. But Marty was an expert and he knew the answer: "The Magician!"

The door opened slightly and the others braced themselves to go in. But there was another message on the door, saying, "_The one who conquered the Magician is the one who can go through the door_."

Everyone looked at Tyler. He was the only person who could go through the door. Sophia started crying, saying, "It's not fair! Why does Tyler have to go?" Even Coco and Marty were crying. Nobody wanted Tyler to leave. Hayley pulled Tyler aside from the others and said, "It's ok, Tyler. Do what you must. But always remember that I love you."

Then, in full view of Coco, Marty, and Sophia, Hayley took Tyler into this arms and they kissed. Then, with tears streaming down his face, Tyler looked at his friends for the last time before walking through the door.

(Claire's note: _Once again, we have another short chapter in the Tyler Potter battle. But this time, Tyler had to say goodbye to his friends before he faced what lies ahead. I named that chapter the final move, for Tyler had to make one more move before the battle. Stay tuned for the final chapter_!)

* * *

**Claire**: _Once again, another cliffhanger._

**Harry**: Uggghhhh, I hate cliffhangers! Where's the slash?

**Ron**: The slash isn't in here.

**Harry**: Oh, come on, Ronald! I put just a bit of slash in this chapter. How could you not see it?

**Hermione**: Come on, Harry! We've already paired you up with everyone and you still want slash!

**Harry**: Whatever you do, just don't hook me up with Voldemort!

**Claire**: _It's already been done! A bunch of fangirls have written nearly 3,000 stories about you making out with Voldemort!_

**Ron**: Harry likes to make out with You-Know-Who?

**Neville**: That's just disgusting! He's a monster!

**Harry**: Do you guys really think I like Voldemort?

**Claire**: _You destroyed MY story by putting slash in it_!_ So yes, you want to make out with Voldemort_!

**Ron**: Yeah, Harry. And thanks to you, it's rated PG!

**Hermione**: And because you have destroyed Jacquel's story, we're setting _you_ up with Voldemort!

**Harry**: No, no, no! Please don't do it! Bellatrix will have my head!

**Claire**: _Sorry, Harry, but you and Voldie are gonna hook up and all our readers are gonna scream_!

**Neville**: Oh ewww, that's so disgusting!

**Harry**: Why would you ever hook me up with Voldemort? That's just...EWWWWW! Anyway, review and tell Jacquel that you want a Tyler/Hayley pairing!

Final chapter: **Oh My God, It's a 2-Faced Monster!**.


	19. Oh My God, It's a Two Faced Monster!

**Claire**: _And now for the grande finale: Tyler is about to face the monster that lives behind that door._

**Harry**: So, no slash in this chapter then?

**Claire**: _No, Harry, no slash. Only action._

**Harry**: WHAT? C'mon, Jacquel, that ain't right!

**Claire**: _Neither is slash, but then again, it's time to put the violence in this story._

**Harry**: Violence? Who cares about violence? I'd rather see some romance!

**Claire**: _Not until the end of the story._

**Harry**: NOOOOO!

**Claire**: _AND BEGIN!_

* * *

**Oh My God, It's a 2-Faced Monster!**

Tyler walked through the door and into a small room. He saw a small table in the middle of the room and on the table was the grail. The Grail of Immortality. That Grail that had rightfully belonged to Sophia Mueller. He reached out to touch the grail when a hand stopped him.

"Professor Snape?" Tyler cried out as he turned to face them man. "No, no; it can't be! It just can't be!" Professor Marin chuckled as he looked at the boy.

"Hello, Tyler Potter, you little sneak," said the Professor as he looked at the boy.

"I should have known it was you!" Tyler cried out.

"Oh really?" said Marin "Whatever did I do?"

"The troll that almost killed me, my cursed broom," cried Tyler, "the fact that you were about to steal the grail..."

"ENOUGH, BOY!" yelled Marin. "Of course I let the troll into the school and cursed your broom. I was trying to kill you!"

"What?" Tyler squeaked as he stared at the professor. "But why?"

"Because you defeated him," said Marin. "You, a worthless little orphan defeated the most powerful wizard on earth! _YOU_! You will pay for this with your life!"

And then, all hell broke loose.

Marin pulled off his turban and (_AAAAIIIIEEEEEEE_!) the face of the Magician showed itself to an awestruck Tyler Potter.

"Oh my God, it's a 2-faced monster!" Tyler cried out in horror.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't little Tyler Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived," said the Magician. "But you are not the right person for that role. Oh, well. Let me tell you about the Grail."

"That's Sophia's grail!" Tyler cried out. "You stole it from her family!"

"Hah!" laughed the Magician. "That grail will bring me back to life, and I'll be finishing what I started, beginning with destroying you, my boy!"

"But why would you want to destory me?" cried Tyler. "Whatever have I done to you?"

"You were born," said the Magician. "You took the place of one Harry Potter, who gave up that role years ago. And when I destroy you, I will find him and destroy him as well!" He then thought about his parents. James and Shannon Potter. The parents who gave their lives for him. The parents he should have grown up with. The parents he would never see again. Tyler's heart filled with anger and hate towards the evil wizard. And that anger gave him courage. "I will destroy the grail and prevent you from ever returning," Tyler said at last.

"Is that so?" laughed the Magician. To Marin, he said, "Kill him!"

At once, Marin pounched on Tyler and began to strangle him. Tyler struggled for a moment before his vision went black. _I'm going to die_, he thought to himself. _There's no way that I can escape from him! __And this time, no one can save me now_...

But then, he reached for the grail and smacked Marin over the head with it. Marin dropped Tyler to the floor and screamed in horror as his face melted. Very soon, the evil mage fell dead at Tyler's feet. The Magician took one look at Marin and screamed, "You have destroyed my servant, Tyler Potter! You will pay for this with your life!"

Tyler gasped as the ghost of the Magician slammed right THROUGH him, knocking him to the ground. Tyler screamed as he felland cracked his head. He knew that he had won.

8 days later, Professor Dumbledore smiled as he saw Tyler open his eyes. "It's about time you woke up, Tyler," he said. "You have been unconsious for 8 days."

"The grail?" Tyler wondered. "What of the grail granting eternal life to those who drink from it?"

"The story about the grail granting immortal life is nothing more than a myth," said the old wizard. "In the old days, seeking immortality was a crime punishable by death in the wizarding world."

"But what about the grail?" Tyler asked. "As we all know, it had legally belonged to Sophia Mueller."

"I have spoken to her about it, and she has agreed to destroy the grail," said Dumbledore. "But somehow, you reached deep down inside you and found the power to stop the Magician."

"My parents. And Hayley," Tyler mused.

"Their love for you is very powerful," said Dumbledore. "Especially Hayley's. He loves you more than life itself and it will be proven one day."

"But what of Harry Potter?" Tyler asked. "Is he really dead?"

"Yes," said Dumbledore. "He has been dead for the last 25 years. But then again, his spirit is inside both you and Hayley. You both have a duty to correct this mistake and find a way to change the world."

Within a few hours, Tyler found himself facing his friends in the Great Hall. The whole school looked at him with suspicion. Professor Marin was not there; Dumbledore had told everyone that Marin had gone far, far away. Tyler frowned and thought to himself maybe it's better if no one knew the truth about Marin's disappearance; that way, I'll never have to worry about if anyone else finds out. Earlier that day, he had explained everything to Coco, Marty, Hayley, and Sophia, with Sophia screaming in horror at the mere mention of Marin strangling Tyler.

Dumbledore then said, "I have some awards to give out. For using logic to solve the most complex of problems, I hereby present this medal to Calliope Riddle!" A few scattered applauses filled the hall, coming mainly from the Phoenixhorn students, as nobody really liked Coco, save for Tyler, Marty, Hayley, and Sophia. Coco frowned as she went to get her medal.

Dumbledore then said, "For solving one of the world's toughest riddles, I hereby present this medal to Martin McGuire!" The applause was more clustered coming mainly from the Phoenixhorn students, but then again, nobody really liked Marty. He smiled as he went to get his medal.

The old headmaster said, "The next medal goes to he who showed love and bravery in the face of a dangerous enemy and prevented a disaster. I award this medal to Tyler James Potter!" This time, everyone in the Great Hall cheered as Tyler rushed forward to claim his medal. He had never gotten rewarded for anything in his life and that win was worth more to him than anything in the world. For now, that is.

But it was not over yet, for Dumbledore then said, "It's not enough for us to stand up to those who are our enemies, but sometimes we must also stand up to our friends as well. I hereby recognize Alistair Johnson for his efforts." The applause was now thunderous and everyone clapped Alistair on his back. Alistair was touched; no one liked him and so far no one cared to become his friend. But Tyler Potter became his friend and that was all that mattered.

Malcolm slammed down his wizarding hat in disgust. So did the other Unicornfeathers. Malcolm hated Tyler since Day 1 and the fact that Tyler was famous made his blood boil. So did being in Phoenixhorn and refusing to befriend him. Malcolm threw Tyler a hateful look and left the Great Hall.

But Tyler didn't care; he was just living in the moment. Hayley ran to Tyler and hugged him, both boys grinning like the Cheshire Cat. Marty, Coco, Sophia, and even Alistair beamed with excitement. Everyone cheered for their hero, not knowing that tomorrow would be heartbreaking for poor little Tyler. He had to go back to the Murteys in the morning.

Tyler stood at the train station the next day. He was talking to Hagrid. Hagrid said, "Thank you for helping me, Tyler. You have no idea of how it meant to me, giving me the chance to help. And do you know what was in that goblet?"

"Uh, blood?" Tyler questioned.

"Yes, blood!" cried Hagrid. "From the dead unicorn, remember? The story is that if a unicorn is killed, its blood can be used to bring death to the person who killed it."

"Professor Marin," said Tyler.

"Yes, him," said Hagrid. "I still can't believe that he was evil. But let's put that aside and say goodbye for now." He then reached out and gave Tyler a big hug. "And if those Murteys still give you trouble, you can tell Buckanuv and he'll tell me. I don't know why Dumbledore is sending you back to those Mundanes, but you can tell me if somehting has happened and I'll make sure they don't hurt you ever again."

Tyler smiled, then Hagrid put him on the train. "Goodbye!" Tyler yelled as the train pulled away from Hogwarts and towards London. Angel barked and Leaf hooted happily. Tyler smiled at his pets; they would keep him company in the weeks that would lay ahead of them.

Hayley reached over to take Tyler into his arms. Before they knew it, they found themselves kissing wildly. For Tyler, he finally found love, even if it was Hayley Snape. And Hayley himself knew that he could live his life freely without the problems of being the former Harry Potter.

But deep down, something very bad was about to happen...

* * *

Epilogue to come...


	20. End of Part 1

**EPILOGUE**

**Harry/Hayley**: I guess I was wrong.

**Malcolm**: You sure as hell were! So…

**Coco**: What are we doing?

**Marty**: Dunno. (_Silence_)

**Sophia**: Let's dance! (_everyone starts dancing. Alistair does the "robot"; Tyler sings "Welcome to Pinecastle"; a DJ 'spins the discs'_)

**DJ**: Yo, homeys!

**Tyler**: Welcome to Pinecastle where the wizards play and we ride broomsticks like everyday, magic wands, dark lords, See the cool guys rollin'…

**Harry/Hayley**: I'm still Harry Potter! I'm still famous! And I would still be that way if someone would let me!

**Tyler**: —And Tommy's parties don't stop / 'Til 10 in the mornin'!

**Harry/Hayley**: Despite what they say, I haven't gone anywhere, so people please just relax!

**Tyler**: Tyler's my name/everyone knows my game…

**J. K. Rowling**: (_walks in and sees everyone dancing_) Hey, what the hell? This ain't part of the show! (_music comes to a screeching halt as she unplugs the radio_)

**Harry/Hayley**: Oh, shoot!

**DJ**: They don't pay me enough for this! (_runs out from party, pulling up baggy jeans_)

**J. K. Rowling**: I'm shutting this crap down! (_walks to camera. Camera is shut off; screen goes black. Everyone groans_)

**Tyler**: That really makes no sense!

**Harry/Hayley**: I know, Ty! Talk about trying to live my life story and they go screw it up!

**Marty**: Now why on earth did they have to regulate my role to that of the sidekick?

**Coco**: Oh Marty, relax! At least _you_ get to be featured in the story!

**Malcolm**: And especially with that little famous prat Tyler! He should have gone into Unicornfeather with me!

**Alistair**: Not a chance, Malcolm! Tyler's staying right where he is!

**Sophia**: And as for me, I will be staying at Pinecastle.

**Gala**: Oh well, life sucks! (_They all look at each other_)

**Tyler**: Damn, these shows don't end well.

* * *

Here ends **The Story that Doesn't Make any Sense**. If you have even more time to waste, or, for some reason, found this crap to be even remotely funny, then please continue with the sequel, **The Sequel that doesn't make any sense**, which is coming soon to a fanfiction website near you!**  
**


	21. Afterword

**And now for a word from the author:**

I began writing this story 1 year ago and believe it or not, it has FINALLY been finished! But before I end this story, I've some more stuff to tell you:

**ABOUT THE SEQUEL**: The sequel is aptly called The Sequel that made no Sense and here's what it's about:

_The year is 1992, and Tyler Potter is 12 years old. He is at home with his foster family, the Murteys. Since he ran away from home last year, Mr. and Mrs. Murtey locked Tyler in his room and banned all contacts with the outside world. Marty and Hayley rescue him and they go to the Snape household. There, Hayley's younger sister Chloe develops a huge and deadly crush on him. _

_The story follows Chamber of Secrets, and Stacey is not the Boy-Who-Was-Kidnapped. Elijah Grey is the Boy-Who-Was-Kidnapped. Not only does Tyler have to deal with Elijah, Chloe, and a teacher who's popular for all the wrong reasons, he must deal with a monster who is attacking and freezing students._

_Fingers are being pointed at Tyler, for they think that he opened the Chamber of Secrets. Fingers are also being pointed at Malcolm and Hagrid as well. After Marty is frozen, Tyler, Hayley, Coco, and Sophia find themselves dealing with the monster. Hagrid is taken to Azkaban. Chloe befriends a boy named Stannie, who is really the evil Adolovsky. Elijah is beginning the journey into discovering who he really is._

_One day, Marya and Chloe are kidnapped. Marya escapes and tells everyone that Chloe has died. Feeling guilty, Tyler takes Hayley and Sophia and they go into the Chamber of Secrets. There, Tyler meets Lord Adolovsky as a young man and an evil snake. Tyler kills the snake and saves Chloe._

_The story ends when the crazy teacher is carted to the mental hospital and Hagrid returns. Tyler is happy to know that he had saved Chloe Snape, but he is upset because he must return to the Murteys. But with his friends behind him, Tyler feels that he can face anything…_

_So anyway, goodbye and thanks for reading this wonderful 1-year journey of this story!_

Yours truly,

_Claire Violet Thorpe_


End file.
